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South Park: The Fractured But Whole
South Park: The Fractured But Whole
Season 9 Episode 5 Trigger Warning It's South Park.  Tom & Andrea return to Colorado for another raunchy adventure as The New Kid in South …
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Sept. 11, 2024

South Park: The Fractured But Whole

South Park: The Fractured But Whole

Season 9 Episode 5 Trigger Warning It's South Park.  Tom & Andrea return to Colorado for another raunchy adventure as The New Kid in South Park: The Fractured But Whole. In this outing, we don our superhero personas and take on a crime...

Season 9 Episode 5

Trigger Warning It's South Park. 

Tom & Andrea return to Colorado for another raunchy adventure as The New Kid in South Park: The Fractured But Whole. In this outing, we don our superhero personas and take on a crime syndicate that is quickly taking over South Park. Bounce between the factions of Coon and Friends or The Freedom Pals as you hunt down missing cats, attack bootay-licious enemies, and choke down some member berries. 

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And don't forget - please rate & review us to help grow the show so we can all nerd out together. 

 

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:17.177 --> 00:00:19.457
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to The Other Castle.

00:00:19.457 --> 00:00:20.837
The Other Castle, I'm Andrea.

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And my name is Tom.

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Here on The Other Castle, we do the plot, lore, and more behind all your favorite video games, starting from production to development to casting and actual work of the game and then how the game actually functions itself.

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And if this is your first time, you can check us out at our website, theothercastlepodcast.com.

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That's theothercastlepodcast.com.

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Over there, we have links to our Instagram, our Discord, our item shop, as well as our Patreon.

00:00:43.177 --> 00:00:45.737
And on our Patreon, we'll be doing the DLC to today's game.

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If you're curious about that, our Patreon is $2 a month, and we have a seven-day free trial.

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Every month, we have new episodes on and off season.

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We also do early access during the season, so we have all sorts of reasons to join up.

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It's very fun, and we appreciate our patrons for keeping the lights on.

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That's right, because we are ad-free otherwise.

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Yay!

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Woohoo!

00:01:04.837 --> 00:01:06.097
So here we are.

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We are finally going back to season four once again.

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Ooh!

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With South Park The Fractured But Whole.

00:01:15.677 --> 00:01:17.777
I love that title so much.

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Yeah, it depends on how you say it, right?

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But Whole.

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Well, South Park wouldn't exist today without its creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

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They met in college and were immediately drawn to one another's sense of humor.

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They love each other.

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They would produce low-budget, independent productions such as Cannibal the Musical, as well as the Criterion Collection Classic, Orgasmo.

00:01:39.997 --> 00:01:43.077
I'm just going to say out loud, art is subjective.

00:01:45.517 --> 00:01:53.657
The origins of South Park itself come from a short, animated film they made for a class using construction paper called The Spirit of Christmas.

00:01:53.657 --> 00:02:03.997
In this short, Jesus Christ fights a demonic snowman that was built by four boys who resemble South Park's main characters Kenny, Kyle, Stan, and Cartman.

00:02:03.997 --> 00:02:10.977
The biggest difference being that the person who looks like Cartman was named Kenny while the others weren't given names at all.

00:02:10.977 --> 00:02:24.837
An executive at Fox, a man named Brian Graydon, saw the short and commissioned the duo to create a similar short film as a video Christmas card he wanted to send to the people on his list, replacing the snowman with Santa Claus in the fight.

00:02:24.837 --> 00:02:28.037
Hollywood people take Christmas card lists very seriously.

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So do we.

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As it's essentially a status symbol to be on certain ones.

00:02:31.637 --> 00:02:32.957
That's true.

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One of the people on this list was actor George Clooney.

00:02:37.697 --> 00:02:41.377
He loved the video Christmas card, which was on VHS tape, mind you.

00:02:41.377 --> 00:02:43.697
Well, that must have been a fucking fortune to ship.

00:02:43.697 --> 00:02:45.117
Oh my God, right?

00:02:45.117 --> 00:02:50.417
Well, he showed it to everyone in his circle, going so far as making copies to pass out to people.

00:02:50.417 --> 00:02:51.517
Like the ring.

00:02:51.517 --> 00:02:57.437
This is considered by many to be the first ever viral video.

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They did it without the help of the internet.

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Wow.

00:03:00.997 --> 00:03:09.757
From there, they received an offer to make the show, which premiered on Wednesday, August 13th, 1997 at 10 PM on Comedy Central.

00:03:09.757 --> 00:03:10.477
Hell yeah.

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A time slot it maintains to this very day when new episodes air.

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I love that.

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It's also the reason we drop new episodes on Wednesdays.

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Oh shit.

00:03:19.017 --> 00:03:25.257
Because if you've listened to this show enough, you know that South Park is one of our absolute favorite franchises in public culture.

00:03:25.257 --> 00:03:30.857
Obviously, we're not alone because here we are, 27 years later, still talking about it.

00:03:30.857 --> 00:03:44.077
A show as successful as South Park obviously became a licensed merchandise dream, resulting in the inevitable video game tie-in, none of which had the involvement of Trey and Matt until 2014's South Park, The Stick of Truth.

00:03:44.077 --> 00:03:45.057
I love that game.

00:03:45.057 --> 00:03:47.177
Yeah, which we covered in season four.

00:03:47.177 --> 00:03:53.357
As a reminder, Stick of Truth was built out by a studio called Obsidian Entertainment, who we're going to hear from again later this season.

00:03:53.737 --> 00:03:54.837
Oh.

00:03:54.837 --> 00:04:01.917
They were supposed to release the game through THQ, but that studio went bankrupt literally months before release.

00:04:01.917 --> 00:04:03.277
What a fucking nightmare.

00:04:03.277 --> 00:04:09.657
Yeah, and then Ubisoft came in to buy up their properties, preventing it from getting canceled along with THQ.

00:04:09.657 --> 00:04:14.157
The game was a big success, and the team almost immediately went into production on the sequel.

00:04:14.157 --> 00:04:15.497
Hell yeah.

00:04:15.497 --> 00:04:22.417
For the new game, Ubisoft went with their in-house team of developers, as well as their proprietary game engine, Snowdrop.

00:04:23.717 --> 00:04:26.377
But they didn't have to rebuild from scratch.

00:04:26.377 --> 00:04:32.837
The first game had started from nothing, as their engine was not compatible with the animation program used to make the TV show.

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That makes sense.

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Snowdrop, however, was compatible with the software.

00:04:37.557 --> 00:04:41.957
So they get poured over a lot of the assets and shit they had for the TV show seamlessly?

00:04:41.957 --> 00:04:43.117
Not most, all.

00:04:43.117 --> 00:04:44.217
Oh shit, that's awesome.

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Everything South Park's ever made was immediately accessible to them.

00:04:47.837 --> 00:04:49.317
Oh my God, what a dream.

00:04:49.317 --> 00:04:51.417
It took about a year to build that out, but still.

00:04:51.657 --> 00:04:52.957
But they did it.

00:04:52.957 --> 00:05:00.477
This would also allow for on-the-fly updates that made it possible to include references to episodes that had aired just weeks prior to the game's launch.

00:05:00.477 --> 00:05:02.217
That's so cool.

00:05:02.217 --> 00:05:11.677
Instead of the fantasy setting Stick of Truth employed, Fractured But Whole was going to tap into the superhero personas they had established for their characters over the course of the series.

00:05:11.677 --> 00:05:16.677
The three-part Coon and Friends saga during season 14 being the main influence.

00:05:16.677 --> 00:05:26.837
There's also a single episode in season 21 titled Franchise Prequel being the semi-setup to the game's storyline, establishing the different teams the kids would be on at the start of the game.

00:05:26.837 --> 00:05:33.737
It's not required viewing, but the events are canonical to the game as it picks up lots of plot points that were left unresolved in the episode.

00:05:33.737 --> 00:05:35.297
Also, it's fun, so just watch it.

00:05:35.297 --> 00:05:36.317
Right, totally.

00:05:36.317 --> 00:05:38.057
And those are on HBO Max, I believe?

00:05:38.057 --> 00:05:39.417
They are, yes.

00:05:39.417 --> 00:05:50.237
Despite making it easier to develop, the game was still delayed five times between December 6, 2016 and its eventual release on October 17, 2017.

00:05:50.237 --> 00:05:55.017
It sucks they had to push it back that many times, but Devil's Avocado is leased within a year.

00:05:55.017 --> 00:06:00.077
Right, and everyone on the team said the delays weren't for any other reason than polishing.

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Some sections simply weren't fun.

00:06:02.577 --> 00:06:07.657
Some storylines didn't contribute to the overall plot, and some jokes just weren't landing.

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Fair.

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I'll die on the hill that I would rather they polish it first rather than release it and patch it along the way.

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Fully.

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I think we talked about that in our Cyberpunk episode of like, I'd rather just fucking wait, release something good, not something fast.

00:06:20.377 --> 00:06:22.597
Yeah, Snow Day.

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Honestly, it's really unfortunate that Snow Day sucks because Fractured But Whole was such a freaking triumph.

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It's up there with the best sequels of all time by taking something great and making it amazing.

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Hell yeah.

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Fractured But Whole released two positive reviews, praising it for its new systems as well as the story and humor.

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It would also receive two-story DLCs, containing elements of the cut content that caused the delays.

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They took the time to fix them up and make them work as standalones.

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Check out our Patreon to find out what happens in those.

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We offer a seven-day free trial, so you don't have to give us one penny.

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That's theothercastlepodcast.com.

00:06:58.077 --> 00:07:05.057
On that note, get ready to see friendly faces everywhere, Goombas, as we go on down to South Park and have ourselves a time.

00:07:05.817 --> 00:07:10.757
Because this is South Park, The Fractured But Whole.

00:07:10.757 --> 00:07:12.477
Yee-haw.

00:07:12.477 --> 00:07:16.557
As in the first adventure, you begin with your character creation screen.

00:07:16.557 --> 00:07:19.837
Unlike the first one, you can now choose your gender identity.

00:07:19.837 --> 00:07:20.997
Yay.

00:07:20.997 --> 00:07:28.717
Choosing anything other than cis male will prompt a character later to comment on the fact that they are sorry for misgendering you before.

00:07:28.717 --> 00:07:29.157
Yeah.

00:07:29.157 --> 00:07:32.437
Having never bothered to ask your pronouns before now.

00:07:32.437 --> 00:07:37.417
Even someone like Eric Cartman is woke as fuck when it comes to gender identity.

00:07:37.417 --> 00:07:44.557
I would also say that if you ever thought South Park was anything other than woke as fuck, then it means you've never really understood South Park.

00:07:44.557 --> 00:07:46.097
You weren't in on the joke.

00:07:46.097 --> 00:07:46.377
No.

00:07:46.377 --> 00:07:52.017
As it balances that wokeness with some of the most offensive things you've ever seen in media.

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Oh right.

00:07:52.777 --> 00:07:54.417
Trigger Warnings for this episode.

00:07:54.417 --> 00:07:54.877
Yeah.

00:07:54.877 --> 00:07:56.317
Just all of them.

00:07:56.317 --> 00:07:58.257
That tracks, that fully tracks.

00:07:58.257 --> 00:08:03.417
All the trigger warnings I'm going to say and describe things that would never otherwise cross my mind or mouth.

00:08:05.757 --> 00:08:09.837
The change in direction for Fractured But Whole is evident in its opening moments.

00:08:09.837 --> 00:08:16.877
As the story opens with Cartman's alt, The Coon, talking about the dying whore of a city, known as South Park.

00:08:16.877 --> 00:08:18.297
That's my favorite fucking line.

00:08:18.297 --> 00:08:22.997
How many times a week do I say, this city is a dying whore?

00:08:24.577 --> 00:08:25.637
It's a great line, isn't it?

00:08:25.637 --> 00:08:27.417
It's so good.

00:08:27.417 --> 00:08:38.237
A missing cat poster is seen clinging to a light pole, depicting the ugliest cat you've ever seen, named Scrambles, offering a $100 reward for its return.

00:08:38.237 --> 00:08:46.837
The Coon's gravelly voice says that cats are going missing, people are taking shits in their neighbor's lawns, and the cops are doing nothing to stop it.

00:08:46.837 --> 00:08:49.857
I'm really proud of you for not doing the voice.

00:08:49.897 --> 00:08:51.077
It's very tempting, I know.

00:08:51.077 --> 00:08:52.137
It's right there.

00:08:52.377 --> 00:08:53.977
I appreciate that.

00:08:53.977 --> 00:09:00.877
To make matters worse, there are two factions of superheroes running around, each with their own ideologies and methods of crime fighting.

00:09:01.777 --> 00:09:05.357
The Freedom Pals and Coon and Friends.

00:09:05.357 --> 00:09:18.717
In order to prevent the next catastrophe, the Coon must enlist the help of someone from the recent past, a person who had once brought peace to the realm after a powerful stick tore it asunder.

00:09:18.717 --> 00:09:25.317
The Coon steps into his bedroom closet, determined to travel back in time to recruit this legendary hero.

00:09:25.317 --> 00:09:29.677
Closing the bureau door, the screen goes black and the title screen appears.

00:09:30.557 --> 00:09:34.317
South Park, The Fractured But Whole.

00:09:35.477 --> 00:09:45.637
We are next taken to the streets of South Park, where children are dressed in fantasy gear, enacting out an epic battle for Koopa Keep, an important location in the first game.

00:09:45.637 --> 00:09:54.457
Koopa Keep is being taken captive by the enemy forces, and Kyle Broflosky wonders aloud, where is our mighty and noble king?

00:09:54.457 --> 00:10:05.157
Cut to you, the New Kid, wearing a crown along with a long red cape, sitting on your throne of porcelain, taking a shit.

00:10:05.157 --> 00:10:08.157
It's good to be back home in South Park.

00:10:08.157 --> 00:10:13.317
Exiting the bathroom, you see mom and dad in the hallway, having a screaming match with one another.

00:10:13.317 --> 00:10:19.137
But they stop when they notice you, acting like nothing is wrong and encourage you to go outside and play with your friends.

00:10:19.137 --> 00:10:26.417
They were fighting because they moved to South Park to hide from their past, and with you making so many friends, that's making it more difficult.

00:10:26.417 --> 00:10:31.957
Plus, dad keeps getting high, and mom doesn't like it, which is causing her to drink.

00:10:31.957 --> 00:10:33.117
Classic.

00:10:33.117 --> 00:10:34.517
Exiting the house.

00:10:34.517 --> 00:10:39.617
Kyle and Butters are at the front door, telling you that your help is needed to take back Koopa Keep.

00:10:39.617 --> 00:10:44.797
This gives you the tutorial introducing the drastically different battle system.

00:10:44.797 --> 00:10:50.317
It's based off D&D, all of games like Baldur's Gate rather than traditional JRPGs.

00:10:50.317 --> 00:10:55.897
This incorporates a grid system and movement mechanics on the battlefield that determine the outcome of your actions in a fight.

00:10:55.897 --> 00:11:01.737
This allows your character's freedom to move about the field to line up their attacks, as well as avoid ones from enemies.

00:11:01.737 --> 00:11:08.757
From time to time, a car will interrupt the fight, as you all move off the street to let it pass, pausing the battle entirely.

00:11:08.757 --> 00:11:14.977
Then once the car passes while yelling obscenities at you damn kids, you move back into position and resume the war.

00:11:14.977 --> 00:11:16.717
I really like the battle system in this.

00:11:16.717 --> 00:11:18.357
It's a fantastic one, isn't it?

00:11:18.357 --> 00:11:19.297
It feels good.

00:11:19.297 --> 00:11:23.657
It feels very strategic when you get to mark out where your damage goes and stuff.

00:11:23.657 --> 00:11:25.317
Strategic, I think, is a great way to put it.

00:11:26.297 --> 00:11:31.337
You fight your way from your house to Cartman's, where the kingdom of Koopa Keep is located.

00:11:31.337 --> 00:11:37.177
Now, Andrea, stay with us here because on the way, you encounter a dragon.

00:11:37.177 --> 00:11:40.017
I'm going to, I don't know, kill some time somewhere else.

00:11:40.017 --> 00:11:43.097
No, it's just a big cardboard monstrosity over a little red wagon.

00:11:43.097 --> 00:11:43.737
Oh, it's not real?

00:11:43.737 --> 00:11:44.137
I'm in.

00:11:44.137 --> 00:11:45.077
This is fine.

00:11:45.077 --> 00:11:47.877
I played this game several times.

00:11:47.877 --> 00:11:48.557
Already forgot.

00:11:48.557 --> 00:11:49.657
It's been a couple of years.

00:11:49.657 --> 00:11:51.137
Yeah, I fully have forgotten about this.

00:11:51.197 --> 00:11:52.577
You mentioned you were going to do this game.

00:11:52.577 --> 00:11:53.857
I went, oh, that's fucking awesome.

00:11:54.577 --> 00:12:01.537
I remember two scenes, and I think I haven't played this in the last five years.

00:12:01.537 --> 00:12:08.777
Well, unlike other sequel games, such as Kingdom Hearts 2, this game lets you keep the power you obtained in Stick of Truth.

00:12:08.777 --> 00:12:09.877
Hell yeah.

00:12:09.877 --> 00:12:15.997
You defeat the dragon with ease, earning the title of King Douchebag, the Dragon Slayer.

00:12:17.477 --> 00:12:17.617
Oh.

00:12:17.617 --> 00:12:24.777
I do wish they would have pulled the same character from your save file for this, but unfortunately, they just give you a random OP one instead.

00:12:24.777 --> 00:12:25.897
It happens.

00:12:25.897 --> 00:12:37.157
Once you make it to Koopa Keep, the bad guy, which are just other South Park kids, are torturing Jimmy the Bard, Volmer, for information on the Stick of Truth.

00:12:37.157 --> 00:12:39.897
Jimmy insists the new king threw it in the ocean.

00:12:39.897 --> 00:12:46.037
Kyle asks where the Grand Wizard is, as the whole reason this battle began was because he sent a distress signal.

00:12:46.037 --> 00:12:50.817
From above, a hiss is heard, and a shadowy figure descends on the group.

00:12:51.857 --> 00:12:59.037
It's the Coon, which is just Eric Cartman dressed as a raccoon.

00:12:59.097 --> 00:13:02.557
You know that the word Coon has some racial connotations, right?

00:13:02.557 --> 00:13:04.777
I didn't want to jump into that, but yeah.

00:13:04.777 --> 00:13:06.897
Okay.

00:13:06.897 --> 00:13:09.397
I just want to acknowledge that these aren't our words.

00:13:09.397 --> 00:13:16.137
A lot of people don't understand what their names mean when they are putting them together, because there's some other characters with just as bad of names.

00:13:16.397 --> 00:13:17.617
Yeah.

00:13:17.617 --> 00:13:23.217
He tells everyone he's from the future, and he needs help tracking down a missing cat named Scrambles.

00:13:23.217 --> 00:13:26.377
It's the key to taking down the crime syndicate spreading through South Park.

00:13:26.377 --> 00:13:27.697
As it always is.

00:13:27.697 --> 00:13:34.717
Everyone else is like, dude, Cartman, you can't force everyone to change games just because you don't want to be a wizard anymore.

00:13:34.717 --> 00:13:37.237
But this is Eric Cartman we're talking about.

00:13:37.237 --> 00:13:40.757
He ignores their protests and barrels through as if everyone had just agreed.

00:13:40.757 --> 00:13:42.697
He's going to get his way.

00:13:42.697 --> 00:13:48.477
Clyde asks Coon if taking down a crime syndicate is a little bit on the large side for Coon and Friends.

00:13:48.477 --> 00:13:50.277
The Coon says, oh, what?

00:13:50.277 --> 00:13:52.937
You want to leave it to The Freedom Pals?

00:13:52.937 --> 00:14:00.797
This makes Kyle, a character who has never gotten along with Cartman, say, fuck Freedom Pals.

00:14:02.217 --> 00:14:02.477
Mrs.

00:14:02.477 --> 00:14:06.817
Cartman appears at the back door of the house saying that there's an alarm going off in the basement.

00:14:06.817 --> 00:14:11.517
Eric says, the Coon layer, we must return to the future.

00:14:11.517 --> 00:14:17.557
Begrudgingly, the group starts taking off their fantasy outfits so they can change into their superhero costumes instead.

00:14:17.557 --> 00:14:19.937
Because they are whole ass being forced to switch gears.

00:14:19.937 --> 00:14:21.717
Yep.

00:14:21.717 --> 00:14:22.137
Love it.

00:14:22.137 --> 00:14:25.057
Cartman once again getting his way.

00:14:25.057 --> 00:14:29.797
Down in the basement, the Coon is joined by other members of Coon and Friends.

00:14:29.797 --> 00:14:40.357
We have Kyle Broflowski as the Human Kite, Clyde Donovan as Mosquito, Craig Tucker as Super Craig, and Jimmy Vollmer as Fastpass.

00:14:40.357 --> 00:14:41.557
Those aren't too bad.

00:14:41.557 --> 00:14:42.577
No, not too bad, right?

00:14:43.597 --> 00:14:46.577
Coon is telling everyone how they need to get better clout on Instagram.

00:14:46.577 --> 00:14:48.117
Sorry, Coonstagram.

00:14:48.117 --> 00:14:49.657
Coonstagram.

00:14:49.657 --> 00:14:56.077
Freedom Pals has over 100 followers, whereas Coon and Friends only has six, with five of them being members.

00:14:56.077 --> 00:14:57.297
And then one porn bot.

00:14:57.297 --> 00:14:58.897
Right.

00:14:58.897 --> 00:15:00.177
It's Tom from MySpace.

00:15:00.177 --> 00:15:01.797
Oh no.

00:15:01.797 --> 00:15:08.137
Coon gives everyone an area of town to search for the missing cat, and tells them to report back if they find anything out.

00:15:08.137 --> 00:15:10.057
As they leave, you enter the basement.

00:15:10.817 --> 00:15:20.617
Coon looks you up and down in your king costume, and says that since you don't have a superhero character, you can watch them play from the sidelines, or be a henchman if you really want to play.

00:15:20.617 --> 00:15:22.397
No one wants to be a henchman.

00:15:22.397 --> 00:15:27.277
After he realizes you aren't leaving, he invites you to join him at the Coon and Friends table.

00:15:27.277 --> 00:15:32.657
He tells you that if you want to play superheroes, then you have to create your character sheet first.

00:15:32.657 --> 00:15:35.997
From here, he walks you through choosing your character class and your tragic backstory.

00:15:37.317 --> 00:15:40.417
The hero name he assigns being Butt Lord.

00:15:41.877 --> 00:15:43.817
Isn't that what they called you in college, Tom?

00:15:43.817 --> 00:15:44.237
No, what?

00:15:44.237 --> 00:15:46.237
No.

00:15:46.237 --> 00:15:47.497
I'm kidding.

00:15:47.497 --> 00:15:48.817
They didn't really know who you were.

00:15:48.817 --> 00:15:51.097
No.

00:15:51.097 --> 00:15:55.577
As well as your mild-mannered alter ego, Butt Hole.

00:15:55.577 --> 00:15:56.897
Butt Hole.

00:15:56.897 --> 00:16:05.057
In creating the tragic backstory, you are given a chance to try out the new class that you chose by defeating a couple intruders during a flashback to when you were six.

00:16:06.297 --> 00:16:10.537
Since you're no longer playing fantasy, you have to start back at level one.

00:16:10.537 --> 00:16:13.337
Defeating the intruders isn't the end of your backstory, though.

00:16:13.337 --> 00:16:14.597
It's just the beginning.

00:16:14.597 --> 00:16:16.117
Dun, dun, dun.

00:16:16.117 --> 00:16:24.617
As you went to check on your parents after the battle, you walked into their bedroom to find your dad fucking your mom.

00:16:24.617 --> 00:16:27.957
This was a whole battle set piece in the first game.

00:16:27.957 --> 00:16:28.417
Right.

00:16:28.417 --> 00:16:30.957
You had to dodge daddy balls and shit.

00:16:30.957 --> 00:16:42.197
Well, to a fatherless child that is as fucked in the head as Eric Cartman, that's the worst possible thing you can see, and the most logical reason to become a crime fighter.

00:16:42.197 --> 00:16:43.897
It's basically Batman's origin story.

00:16:43.897 --> 00:16:45.437
I get it.

00:16:45.437 --> 00:16:46.397
Something to do with his parents.

00:16:46.397 --> 00:16:47.657
I'm fuzzy on the details.

00:16:47.657 --> 00:16:48.357
It's fine.

00:16:48.357 --> 00:16:50.197
Somebody has a pearl necklace.

00:16:51.617 --> 00:16:55.397
Tom, are you fucking serious right now?

00:16:57.237 --> 00:16:58.957
What is wrong with you?

00:16:58.957 --> 00:16:59.917
It's South Park.

00:16:59.917 --> 00:17:00.397
Sorry.

00:17:00.397 --> 00:17:01.157
Yeah, no.

00:17:01.957 --> 00:17:03.117
I need to check my shit.

00:17:03.217 --> 00:17:03.657
Never mind.

00:17:03.657 --> 00:17:04.037
You're right.

00:17:04.037 --> 00:17:04.477
You're right.

00:17:04.477 --> 00:17:06.177
God damn it.

00:17:07.217 --> 00:17:08.377
Fuck you.

00:17:08.377 --> 00:17:19.337
Coon gives you your search area to hunt for scrambles and informs you that your side mission is to recruit as many friends on Coonstagram as possible, which was technically one of your superpowers in the first game.

00:17:19.337 --> 00:17:24.597
The other being your ability to fart on command, hence the name Buttlord.

00:17:24.597 --> 00:17:28.077
I do like that in the first game, it is Facebook or whatever their version of it.

00:17:28.097 --> 00:17:31.537
Now we're like, that's some old shit.

00:17:31.537 --> 00:17:34.277
I'd love to see a third game where they're doing TikTok dances.

00:17:34.277 --> 00:17:37.497
Right, it would be great, but instead we got fucking...

00:17:37.497 --> 00:17:38.477
Snow day.

00:17:38.477 --> 00:17:40.437
Snow day.

00:17:40.437 --> 00:17:43.957
This time around, it's not just the followers you're after.

00:17:43.957 --> 00:17:47.577
You also need to get selfies of yourself with the people you've helped.

00:17:47.577 --> 00:17:51.157
Some people won't take one with you though, until you are popular enough.

00:17:51.157 --> 00:17:54.357
You know, as Paris Hilton once said, a selfie is the new autograph.

00:17:54.357 --> 00:17:55.577
That's right.

00:17:55.577 --> 00:17:59.097
Wandering the area, you eventually pass by the Marsh Family Residence.

00:17:59.857 --> 00:18:03.957
As this game predates Tegardy Farms by one year to the date.

00:18:03.957 --> 00:18:05.097
So they still live in town.

00:18:05.097 --> 00:18:06.217
They do still live in town.

00:18:06.217 --> 00:18:06.837
Nice.

00:18:06.837 --> 00:18:10.417
Where you run into my all-time favorite character, Randy Marsh.

00:18:10.417 --> 00:18:12.497
You love Randy so much.

00:18:12.497 --> 00:18:14.537
An unhealthy amount.

00:18:14.537 --> 00:18:16.977
Like you ride for Randy.

00:18:16.977 --> 00:18:19.537
I feel like you ride for him harder when he's wrong.

00:18:19.537 --> 00:18:22.977
I will always ride for Randy, especially when he's wrong.

00:18:22.977 --> 00:18:25.937
You're like, oh, is he the pop star Lord?

00:18:25.937 --> 00:18:27.577
That's my man right there.

00:18:28.497 --> 00:18:32.617
Is he giving himself ball cancer to access dispensary weed?

00:18:32.617 --> 00:18:33.757
That's my man's.

00:18:33.757 --> 00:18:35.337
Damn right.

00:18:35.337 --> 00:18:37.677
Man's got tegrity.

00:18:37.677 --> 00:18:41.817
He's trying to buff out a bunch of scratch marks on the hood of his wife's car.

00:18:41.817 --> 00:18:47.097
Seeing his favorite kid, he tells you that someone keeps coming by at night to key her car.

00:18:47.097 --> 00:18:53.037
Not only that, they're leaving notes saying things like, I thought we had something.

00:18:53.037 --> 00:19:00.397
Randy is worried his wife Sharon was having an affair that she must have broken off, and these notes are from her former lover.

00:19:00.397 --> 00:19:06.397
Randy asks you to catch whoever is key in the car, saying that if you pull that off, he'll take a selfie.

00:19:06.397 --> 00:19:06.957
Nice.

00:19:06.957 --> 00:19:10.937
Which he says you'll want, because he's basically the South Park equivalent to a Kennedy.

00:19:10.937 --> 00:19:11.637
He is.

00:19:11.637 --> 00:19:12.897
They're basically the Kennedys.

00:19:12.897 --> 00:19:14.677
Right.

00:19:14.677 --> 00:19:19.577
Coon tells you to go to Human Kite's house, as he is sending a distress signal requesting backup.

00:19:19.577 --> 00:19:24.797
You get to the Barofolowski residence, and Human Kite is pissed that Coon sent in a rookie.

00:19:24.797 --> 00:19:26.897
He tells you that the situation is way too complicated.

00:19:27.857 --> 00:19:33.197
A version of himself from a different possible timeline appeared and is currently wrecking his bedroom upstairs.

00:19:33.197 --> 00:19:34.157
Oh, shit.

00:19:34.157 --> 00:19:42.877
Since back to the future rules apply here, Human Kite can't confront his future self and needs you to handle it for him, sending you into his room.

00:19:42.877 --> 00:19:49.037
Inside is a very rare South Park character, having appeared in only three of the over 300 episodes.

00:19:49.897 --> 00:19:56.077
Kyle Barofolowski's asthmatic and extremely stereotypically Jewish cousin, Kyle Schwartz.

00:19:56.657 --> 00:19:57.877
I remember him.

00:19:57.877 --> 00:20:01.497
Dressed as Human Kite 2.

00:20:01.497 --> 00:20:03.777
He also has the nasally voice.

00:20:03.777 --> 00:20:04.677
It's fantastic.

00:20:04.677 --> 00:20:07.337
Right.

00:20:07.337 --> 00:20:12.177
Rules be damned, Human Kite joins you saying that Human Kite 2 is giving him a bad name.

00:20:12.177 --> 00:20:18.317
Human Kite 2 says that his aunt told him he could be whatever superhero he wanted to be because he's the guest.

00:20:18.317 --> 00:20:23.317
So he chose his favorite cousin's character because why can't there be two Human Kites?

00:20:23.317 --> 00:20:28.697
In order to restore balance to the Kite lineage, you must defeat Human Kite 2.

00:20:28.697 --> 00:20:37.337
Who attempts a special move during the fight and instead ruptures a hernia, defeating himself in the end.

00:20:37.337 --> 00:20:38.297
Hell yeah.

00:20:38.297 --> 00:20:40.057
It's hard as a child to have a hernia.

00:20:40.057 --> 00:20:40.857
Right.

00:20:40.857 --> 00:20:43.017
It's hard as an adult.

00:20:43.017 --> 00:20:43.457
Yeah.

00:20:43.977 --> 00:20:46.757
It's usually reserved for your later stages in life.

00:20:46.757 --> 00:20:48.977
This kid's seven.

00:20:49.017 --> 00:20:50.057
That sucks.

00:20:50.057 --> 00:20:50.197
Yeah.

00:20:50.197 --> 00:20:51.297
He's constantly in peril.

00:20:51.597 --> 00:20:52.917
Yeah.

00:20:52.917 --> 00:21:00.337
As you explore South Park itself, you'll encounter other characters who need help with little side quests in order to get them to take a selfie with you.

00:21:00.337 --> 00:21:09.137
You also discover the obstacles that will be in your way and that you'll need to gain different abilities to overcome, such as the floor being lava.

00:21:09.137 --> 00:21:15.657
Red Lego bricks are mysteriously spread in front of some buildings, representing a lava pit that you cannot cross.

00:21:15.657 --> 00:21:19.417
As you level up searching for the cat, you will gain new abilities and clothing sets.

00:21:20.577 --> 00:21:26.977
Clothes are different this time around, as they are mostly cosmetic, whereas they determined your stats in the Stick of Truth.

00:21:26.977 --> 00:21:35.977
Here, you build out your character's talent tree through collected artifacts to change the stats, allowing you to really customize the look of your character without having an effect on your abilities.

00:21:35.977 --> 00:21:43.977
I like that a lot more because you end up getting stuck with outfits with really great buffs but no cohesive aesthetic in the first game.

00:21:43.977 --> 00:21:44.897
Yeah, exactly.

00:21:44.897 --> 00:21:46.797
I want to be an emo child.

00:21:48.017 --> 00:21:53.277
As emo as possible with winged eyeline or all this crazy shit and then wreck house, you know?

00:21:53.277 --> 00:21:59.817
I don't want to look like a fucking flag for some shit I don't believe in.

00:21:59.817 --> 00:22:00.877
And wreck house, you know?

00:22:00.877 --> 00:22:01.457
Exactly.

00:22:01.457 --> 00:22:02.837
That was exactly the point for it.

00:22:02.837 --> 00:22:03.977
Good.

00:22:03.977 --> 00:22:09.617
Coon reminds you that while you're leveling up, with great power comes great chicks and money.

00:22:09.617 --> 00:22:11.137
Hell yeah.

00:22:12.697 --> 00:22:16.497
The town of South Park is just as alive and bustling as it was in the last outing.

00:22:17.017 --> 00:22:19.757
With collectibles and Easter eggs galore.

00:22:19.757 --> 00:22:27.537
They focused on bringing in references to the more recent seasons of the show, such as Member Berries as well as Tweak and Craig yaoi artwork.

00:22:28.937 --> 00:22:30.637
What is yaoi artwork?

00:22:30.637 --> 00:22:36.477
So it's Tweak and Craig, the characters drawn as anime versions of themselves in love with each other.

00:22:36.477 --> 00:22:38.157
Oh, romantically?

00:22:38.157 --> 00:22:40.777
Romantically, yeah, because Tweak and Craig are a couple.

00:22:40.777 --> 00:22:42.337
I love them too.

00:22:42.337 --> 00:22:45.997
These elements were introduced during a really important time period for the TV show.

00:22:46.557 --> 00:22:51.617
As South Park had just begun experimenting in serialized storytelling.

00:22:51.617 --> 00:22:56.457
For the first 18 years, South Park was mostly episodic.

00:22:56.457 --> 00:23:01.197
Episodes were completely stand-alone and nothing that happened carried over to the next one.

00:23:01.197 --> 00:23:03.937
Which is why they killed Kenny so often in the beginning.

00:23:03.937 --> 00:23:10.837
It was their way of saying that nothing in a single episode matters, because in the next one, everything will be reset.

00:23:10.837 --> 00:23:20.437
In season 19, they began connecting each episode to the one before it, creating a full-season arc where actions have consequences and changes were permanent.

00:23:20.437 --> 00:23:22.737
Because that's what happens after your 18th year.

00:23:22.737 --> 00:23:23.037
Right.

00:23:23.037 --> 00:23:24.657
Your actions have consequences.

00:23:24.657 --> 00:23:26.917
Oh my God, you're absolutely right.

00:23:26.917 --> 00:23:34.857
It was different from their mini-arcs like Imagination Land or Cartoon Wars, which were more like movies split over three episodes.

00:23:34.857 --> 00:23:40.697
They continued experimenting with serialization over a couple seasons to mixed results and reactions.

00:23:40.697 --> 00:23:48.057
I think they've settled on a healthy middle ground as they have allowed changes to remain constant while maintaining the episodic nature of previous seasons.

00:23:48.057 --> 00:24:00.177
I say all this because Fractured But Whole was made during this experimentation period, and it reflects those decisions in the cast of characters, as well as the locations as this game adds Soda Sopa and Shittypott Town.

00:24:00.177 --> 00:24:01.337
Hell yeah.

00:24:01.337 --> 00:24:06.477
Which are areas of South Park introduced during these major storylines from some of those season-long arcs.

00:24:06.477 --> 00:24:10.997
And having lived in Denver during their season-long arc.

00:24:10.997 --> 00:24:11.457
Oh yeah.

00:24:12.417 --> 00:24:14.817
Turning Shittypott Town into Soda Sopa.

00:24:14.817 --> 00:24:15.197
What is it?

00:24:15.197 --> 00:24:15.917
Soda Sopa?

00:24:15.917 --> 00:24:16.717
Soda Sopa.

00:24:16.717 --> 00:24:19.377
Yucky Sopa, that shit.

00:24:19.377 --> 00:24:20.437
It hits, man.

00:24:20.437 --> 00:24:21.897
It fucking hits.

00:24:21.897 --> 00:24:27.097
It's very accurate as Matt Stone does live in Denver for the rest of the year.

00:24:27.097 --> 00:24:30.957
So you start to notice some parallels between South Park and Denver.

00:24:30.957 --> 00:24:38.377
So he comes to LA, he does his fucking season of South Park, he signs his fucking checks, and then he's just like, I'm out, I'm going back to Larimer.

00:24:38.377 --> 00:24:39.417
Yeah, I'm going back to Aurora.

00:24:40.477 --> 00:24:45.117
He's got reservations at the Cherry Creek Mall tonight, he's going to go like, I see you.

00:24:45.797 --> 00:24:48.697
I think it keeps them humble though, that they're like, fuck it, we're out of here.

00:24:48.697 --> 00:24:49.157
That's true.

00:24:49.157 --> 00:24:50.457
Yeah, definitely.

00:24:50.457 --> 00:24:53.657
Another new location they introduce is Raisins.

00:24:56.577 --> 00:25:04.397
It's a take on the restaurant Hooters, where all the service staff are so young, they have yet to develop their Hooters.

00:25:04.397 --> 00:25:10.497
If you need the joke explained to you, you're probably about the age of the people who work there.

00:25:10.497 --> 00:25:11.317
I hate this.

00:25:11.317 --> 00:25:12.617
It's so good.

00:25:12.617 --> 00:25:19.537
Coon tells you that Mosquito went to Raisins looking for the lost cat, but he hasn't reported back in a long time.

00:25:19.537 --> 00:25:24.477
He orders you to go find out what happened to him, but be careful not to be tempted by their hot employees.

00:25:24.477 --> 00:25:26.917
He may not have found the cat, but he sure found some pussy.

00:25:26.917 --> 00:25:28.117
Oh my God.

00:25:28.117 --> 00:25:29.777
It's right there.

00:25:31.117 --> 00:25:40.757
As you are seated, you see Mosquito has fallen to the siren's call, as two Raisin's employees are flirting with him as he houses plate after plate of buffalo wings.

00:25:40.757 --> 00:25:45.277
He's bullshitting about his heroic endeavors until the bill arrives.

00:25:45.277 --> 00:25:54.537
Suddenly, he remembers the mission, and their spell is broken, asking you to join him in a battle against the sexualization of children disguised as greedy capitalism.

00:25:56.297 --> 00:25:57.597
Isn't that the battle we all face?

00:25:57.697 --> 00:25:59.877
Right.

00:25:59.877 --> 00:26:06.417
In reality, he's just scared because his parents are definitely going to be pissed at how much he spent at a fourth-grade strip club.

00:26:08.017 --> 00:26:12.597
You defeat the Raisin's girls and help Mosquito escape the restaurant without paying.

00:26:12.597 --> 00:26:13.877
Real superhero work.

00:26:13.877 --> 00:26:14.937
Hell yeah.

00:26:14.937 --> 00:26:23.777
Mosquito tells you that he is indebted to you and agrees to help you when you are in battle, which is a core mechanic of this game, collecting allies to assist you.

00:26:23.777 --> 00:26:29.317
The first game let you team up with one other partner at a time, while this one lets you have three others in battle with you.

00:26:29.317 --> 00:26:37.517
I remember having very long conversations with you about stacking our teams correctly, of like, well, we need this healer and this guy's range attack is fantastic.

00:26:37.517 --> 00:26:38.677
The South Park meta.

00:26:38.677 --> 00:26:40.197
You never thought you'd get into that, right?

00:26:40.197 --> 00:26:40.677
Fully.

00:26:40.677 --> 00:26:44.337
We've had real ass conversations about it.

00:26:45.617 --> 00:26:48.537
While exploring the town, you go by the school where Mr.

00:26:48.537 --> 00:26:50.917
Mackie, the school counselor, wants to talk to you.

00:26:50.917 --> 00:26:54.857
He hears that there were some issues recently regarding you and your gender identity.

00:26:55.457 --> 00:27:02.177
He heard that it's possible some of the kids may have been misgendering you, and wants to make sure the school has all of your info straight.

00:27:02.177 --> 00:27:03.517
Or gay, if that's the case.

00:27:03.517 --> 00:27:05.077
Oh my god, Tom.

00:27:05.077 --> 00:27:10.797
Here he asks your full identity, male, female, non-binary, cis, or transgender.

00:27:10.797 --> 00:27:18.517
Reassuring you the whole way through that whatever you choose is perfectly fine and normal, and will stay between the two of you, okay?

00:27:18.517 --> 00:27:21.317
When you inform him of it all, he says, that's great.

00:27:21.317 --> 00:27:22.377
Just give me a moment.

00:27:22.777 --> 00:27:26.137
And then he picks up the phone to inform your parents of everything you just told him.

00:27:26.137 --> 00:27:26.797
Oh my God.

00:27:26.797 --> 00:27:28.177
No, you're in Colorado, not Florida.

00:27:28.177 --> 00:27:29.337
What the?

00:27:29.337 --> 00:27:30.537
God damn it.

00:27:30.537 --> 00:27:33.057
But your parents are chill as fuck no matter what.

00:27:33.057 --> 00:27:33.677
Hell yeah.

00:27:33.677 --> 00:27:34.357
And tell Mr.

00:27:34.357 --> 00:27:36.817
Mackey that they already knew that, and it was none of Mr.

00:27:36.817 --> 00:27:37.937
Mackey's fucking business.

00:27:37.937 --> 00:27:38.997
Absurd fucking lutely.

00:27:38.997 --> 00:27:42.337
And it's not anyone else's goddamn business blanket statement.

00:27:42.337 --> 00:27:44.957
Do what you want, fuck who you want.

00:27:44.957 --> 00:27:47.457
I'll get off my soap box now.

00:27:47.457 --> 00:27:55.757
Well, even if you say, for example, you're a cisgender male, he still calls and reports you to your parents, asking if they ever let you explore other options.

00:27:55.757 --> 00:27:58.177
Did you ever get that call growing up as a cisgender male?

00:27:58.177 --> 00:27:59.297
No, I never did.

00:27:59.297 --> 00:28:01.857
The school never called him and I guess what?

00:28:01.857 --> 00:28:02.537
It's a he.

00:28:02.537 --> 00:28:03.977
Right.

00:28:03.977 --> 00:28:04.797
Well, I went to Catholic school.

00:28:04.797 --> 00:28:05.657
We didn't get that option.

00:28:05.657 --> 00:28:06.457
Oh, fair enough.

00:28:06.457 --> 00:28:07.477
Jesus Christ.

00:28:07.477 --> 00:28:08.357
Well, this is South Park.

00:28:08.357 --> 00:28:11.737
So again, they're just being casually woke as fuck.

00:28:11.737 --> 00:28:20.717
When you exit the school, a pickup truck full of drunk rednecks pulled up to the school, pointing at you threateningly saying, it's one of them whatever combo you chose.

00:28:20.737 --> 00:28:22.697
It's one of them cisgender males.

00:28:22.697 --> 00:28:23.817
Yeah.

00:28:23.817 --> 00:28:26.397
Well, if you do that, honestly, they still hate you.

00:28:26.397 --> 00:28:29.557
They hate every version of whoever walks out of that school.

00:28:29.557 --> 00:28:30.937
Just haters to be haters.

00:28:30.937 --> 00:28:32.457
Yeah.

00:28:32.457 --> 00:28:34.677
Which honestly is how South Park gets away with everything.

00:28:34.677 --> 00:28:36.637
Nobody is safe from their ridicule.

00:28:36.637 --> 00:28:38.257
They're equal opportunity offenders.

00:28:38.257 --> 00:28:38.597
Yeah.

00:28:38.597 --> 00:28:41.497
If everyone's a target, then nobody is.

00:28:41.497 --> 00:28:42.057
Yeah.

00:28:42.057 --> 00:28:46.177
Remember how integral George Clooney was to making South Park a viral hit?

00:28:46.177 --> 00:28:46.377
Yeah.

00:28:47.037 --> 00:28:52.557
They went on to make an episode about him smelling his own farts for being such a smug bastard.

00:28:53.737 --> 00:28:54.477
He did do that.

00:28:54.477 --> 00:28:55.397
I remember that.

00:28:55.397 --> 00:28:59.597
As well as killed the shit out of him and Team America World Police.

00:28:59.597 --> 00:29:02.277
They don't give a fuck about anyone.

00:29:02.277 --> 00:29:03.417
Hell yeah.

00:29:03.417 --> 00:29:08.257
Speaking of targets, one of the locations you can visit is the local Catholic Church.

00:29:09.477 --> 00:29:18.937
In South Park canon, the Catholic Church is ruled by the Queen Spider, an intergalactic creature that oversees the Catholic Church on every planet throughout the universe.

00:29:18.937 --> 00:29:21.277
Is that just South Park or is that also in the real world?

00:29:21.277 --> 00:29:22.357
Oh, that's also in the real world.

00:29:22.357 --> 00:29:23.377
This is all true.

00:29:23.377 --> 00:29:24.537
Got it.

00:29:24.537 --> 00:29:33.657
Part of the Queen Spider's rulings involve the requirement that Catholic priests are inappropriate with children.

00:29:33.657 --> 00:29:42.577
South Park's local priest, Father Maxie, is not part of that sect and has 100% rejected any and all teachings of the Queen Spider.

00:29:42.577 --> 00:29:43.097
Good for him.

00:29:43.397 --> 00:29:48.617
However, he does accidentally put you into contact with a couple of priests who do follow the Queen Spider.

00:29:48.617 --> 00:29:54.257
And after you defeat those perverts, Father Maxie gives you your first summon as an apology.

00:29:54.257 --> 00:29:56.757
In Stick of Truth, we could summon Jesus.

00:29:58.217 --> 00:29:58.937
That's right.

00:29:58.937 --> 00:30:02.897
In this one, we summon Moses.

00:30:02.897 --> 00:30:07.877
Moses in South Park is portrayed as a character we've seen once before this season.

00:30:07.877 --> 00:30:10.937
The master control program from the movie series Tron.

00:30:11.077 --> 00:30:13.837
You've got to be fucking kidding me.

00:30:13.837 --> 00:30:15.517
Do we have to watch god damn Tron?

00:30:15.517 --> 00:30:16.637
I don't want to.

00:30:16.637 --> 00:30:18.397
I don't want to watch fucking Tron.

00:30:18.397 --> 00:30:19.697
I don't like Tron.

00:30:19.697 --> 00:30:20.297
No.

00:30:20.297 --> 00:30:22.317
Why does everyone love Tron?

00:30:22.317 --> 00:30:26.737
Well, fortunately, Moses is on your side, unlike the MCP.

00:30:26.737 --> 00:30:28.057
Don't do that.

00:30:28.057 --> 00:30:36.017
Remaining on the topic of God, the Coon tells you to go to Freeman's Tacos, where you'll receive your next assignment.

00:30:36.017 --> 00:30:38.757
Freeman's Tacos is operated by God himself.

00:30:39.917 --> 00:30:41.077
Morgan Freeman.

00:30:41.077 --> 00:30:42.197
Ah, yes.

00:30:42.197 --> 00:30:47.477
He teaches you how to craft items, your first being something nobody has ever created before.

00:30:47.477 --> 00:30:52.057
And he loves to teach things because every time he teaches a lesson, he gains a freckle.

00:30:52.057 --> 00:30:53.637
Exactly.

00:30:53.637 --> 00:30:59.457
You combine an enchilada with a burrito, giving you an enchirito.

00:31:01.297 --> 00:31:07.897
I bring this up because a man named Mark lost his life in the first game by asking if the new Taco Bell was going to be offering enchiritos.

00:31:08.417 --> 00:31:10.277
And then he gets shot down by agents, right?

00:31:12.137 --> 00:31:13.737
Shit, yeah.

00:31:13.737 --> 00:31:20.017
Coon tells you to bring your creation to the Coon layer, revealing that your mission was to go get him lunch.

00:31:21.297 --> 00:31:27.117
As a thank you, he tells you that your superhero persona sucks and that you need to work on it some more.

00:31:27.117 --> 00:31:32.657
He lets you choose a second fighting class, opening you up to more abilities and attacks.

00:31:32.657 --> 00:31:38.417
After another tragic backstory tutorial that ends in you witnessing the worst thing Cartman can imagine.

00:31:38.417 --> 00:31:41.217
Seeing your dad fuck your mom.

00:31:41.217 --> 00:31:44.637
Your parents love to fuck each other.

00:31:44.637 --> 00:31:46.877
Here's the thing, like...

00:31:46.877 --> 00:31:49.497
He's only describing the same night over and over again.

00:31:49.497 --> 00:31:52.477
I know, but we see them fuck so much.

00:31:52.477 --> 00:31:54.397
It's a core part of their relationship.

00:31:54.397 --> 00:31:55.977
Yeah.

00:31:55.977 --> 00:31:59.577
An alarm begins to blare inside Coon and Friends' headquarters.

00:31:59.577 --> 00:32:02.557
The Freedom Pals are fighting members of Coon and Friends on Main Street.

00:32:03.357 --> 00:32:05.897
You and the Coon run to join the tussle.

00:32:05.897 --> 00:32:09.237
Coon takes off quickly down the street, and you have to catch up to him.

00:32:09.237 --> 00:32:13.017
When you do, he says, Oh my god, escort missions are the worst.

00:32:13.017 --> 00:32:15.077
Why can't you just go the same speed as me?

00:32:15.077 --> 00:32:17.497
Bitch!

00:32:17.497 --> 00:32:19.537
That's what I'm fucking saying.

00:32:19.537 --> 00:32:21.937
Also, stop standing in front of doorways.

00:32:21.937 --> 00:32:22.837
Yeah, right.

00:32:22.837 --> 00:32:23.637
What the fuck?

00:32:23.637 --> 00:32:27.637
But I love that it was Coon was on the escort mission and that you're the slow one.

00:32:27.637 --> 00:32:27.797
Yeah.

00:32:30.017 --> 00:32:35.137
On Main Street, you find four members of each superhero squad squaring off with each other.

00:32:35.137 --> 00:32:40.677
Super Craig is yelling at Wonder Tweek, as the two of them had agreed to always remain a duo.

00:32:40.677 --> 00:32:42.377
With Wonder Tweek is Dr.

00:32:42.377 --> 00:32:46.857
Timothy, which is Timmy doing his best Professor Xavier impression from his wheelchair.

00:32:46.857 --> 00:32:48.397
I lowkey love this for him a lot.

00:32:48.397 --> 00:32:48.897
Oh, right.

00:32:48.897 --> 00:32:52.537
It's such a great character because he was originally something called Iron Maiden and he was just all in metal.

00:32:53.057 --> 00:32:55.497
Yeah, it's just a box.

00:32:55.497 --> 00:33:00.997
Tupperware, Tolkien Black's hero form where he wears a plastic food container as a helmet.

00:33:00.997 --> 00:33:08.077
As well as the boy who co-started the whole superhero trend in South Park to begin with, Kenny McCormick's Mysterion.

00:33:09.537 --> 00:33:13.957
Mysterion having debuted with The Coon in South Park's 13th season.

00:33:13.957 --> 00:33:18.677
Everyone else's hero characters were introduced during The Coon and Friends mini-arc the following year.

00:33:18.677 --> 00:33:21.237
The fight they're having is over the movie rights to their characters.

00:33:21.877 --> 00:33:27.777
They each mapped out their characters' respective film franchises, a la the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

00:33:27.777 --> 00:33:34.777
The argument is over the order the movie should come out, with everyone thinking their character is the most important to the franchise.

00:33:34.777 --> 00:33:35.057
Dr.

00:33:35.057 --> 00:33:44.857
Timothy telepathically tells The Coon that deep down, he knows that Coon and Friends are a bunch of douchebags and don't deserve their own franchise.

00:33:44.857 --> 00:33:50.077
I love this for Timmy because he's otherwise an I Am Groot style character being able to say one word.

00:33:50.497 --> 00:33:51.237
His name.

00:33:51.237 --> 00:33:58.157
But with telepathy, he has a robust and articulate vocabulary, allowing him to be one of the smartest characters in the group.

00:33:58.157 --> 00:34:00.017
And he's fucking over everyone.

00:34:00.017 --> 00:34:00.937
Yeah, right?

00:34:00.937 --> 00:34:03.377
He hates them all.

00:34:03.377 --> 00:34:14.697
If you weren't aware, South Park has been praised by multiple disability advocacy groups for their honest and positive portrayal of people with different afflictions throughout its entire run.

00:34:14.697 --> 00:34:18.897
From Asperger's to Tourette's, South Park educates as much as it jokes.

00:34:19.357 --> 00:34:21.257
I don't think we say Asperger's anymore.

00:34:21.257 --> 00:34:22.837
Well, they did when they made the episode.

00:34:22.837 --> 00:34:24.177
Okay, fine.

00:34:25.297 --> 00:34:25.557
Dr.

00:34:25.557 --> 00:34:33.557
Timothy teleports to the other end of the street, and Coon chases after him, telling the rest of you to stay back and fight the other members of Freedom Pals.

00:34:33.557 --> 00:34:37.177
After their defeat, you catch up to the Coon, who says that Dr.

00:34:37.177 --> 00:34:40.377
Timothy completely raped his mind.

00:34:41.857 --> 00:34:43.837
Spoilers for Deadpool Wolverine.

00:34:45.337 --> 00:34:46.957
He tried to fight back, but Dr.

00:34:46.957 --> 00:34:50.097
Timothy's powers were too strong and he got away.

00:34:50.097 --> 00:34:58.717
But during their encounter, the Coon was able to steal his cell phone, so they take it back to base to see if it contains any information on the missing cat.

00:34:58.717 --> 00:35:04.977
As both groups need the reward money of $100 to start their respective film franchise.

00:35:04.977 --> 00:35:09.857
The whole franchise thing being one of the plot points left unresolved from the show.

00:35:09.857 --> 00:35:11.317
Super Craig hacks into Dr.

00:35:11.317 --> 00:35:20.057
Timothy's phone and discovers information about a mysterious girl with a dick tattoo who has information on all the criminal activity in South Park.

00:35:20.057 --> 00:35:22.537
I think I know a couple of girls with dick tattoos.

00:35:22.537 --> 00:35:23.877
I think there's more than one.

00:35:23.877 --> 00:35:30.077
Yeah, but no, just in my friend group, like in my Instagram DMs, I think those bitches are hanging out right now.

00:35:30.077 --> 00:35:37.837
She also knows about the string of catnappings that seem to be occurring all over town as scrambles is not the only missing cat.

00:35:37.837 --> 00:35:43.577
Human Kite tells you that being a silent protagonist isn't really useful and that you really need to start speaking up more.

00:35:43.917 --> 00:35:46.317
Okay, first of all, my boyfriend.

00:35:47.657 --> 00:35:49.097
27-year-old Dr.

00:35:49.097 --> 00:35:52.057
Gordon Freeman made it cool.

00:35:52.057 --> 00:35:53.077
Fuck you.

00:35:53.157 --> 00:35:54.917
Coon tells him to shut his kite mouth.

00:35:54.917 --> 00:35:55.917
Oh my God.

00:35:55.917 --> 00:35:57.257
He doesn't understand.

00:35:57.257 --> 00:36:01.737
The Coon tells you it's time the others find out about your tragic backstory.

00:36:01.737 --> 00:36:11.557
He tells them all how at the tender age of six years old, you walked in on your dad fucking your mom, like some kind of monster.

00:36:11.557 --> 00:36:12.477
Like a monster.

00:36:12.997 --> 00:36:14.757
More like the beast with two backs.

00:36:14.757 --> 00:36:19.437
Human Kite yells at Coon, saying, everyone's dad fucked their mom at some point.

00:36:19.437 --> 00:36:21.537
That's literally where people come from.

00:36:21.537 --> 00:36:22.757
Yeah.

00:36:22.757 --> 00:36:26.497
Coon tells Human Kite to stop trying to steal someone else's backstory, okay?

00:36:27.877 --> 00:36:29.597
Mosquito tells everyone to shut up.

00:36:29.597 --> 00:36:34.557
It's almost sundown, so everyone needs to go home to prepare for their night missions.

00:36:34.557 --> 00:36:38.217
You stay behind with Coon for a moment while the others take off.

00:36:38.217 --> 00:36:40.957
Coon apologizes for the bigotry Human Kite just displayed.

00:36:42.677 --> 00:36:48.997
Saying, even among superheroes, there are those who will never understand the horror of finding your dad fucking your mom.

00:36:51.057 --> 00:36:52.517
Garmin just wants a dad.

00:36:52.517 --> 00:36:54.837
Just so badly.

00:36:54.837 --> 00:36:57.417
But he fed him to a kid.

00:36:57.417 --> 00:37:02.517
Anyway, you head home to find mom and dad fighting once again.

00:37:02.517 --> 00:37:09.377
Dad's upset with mom for answering the phone when the guidance counselor called, saying she shouldn't have involved him in their child's gender identity problems.

00:37:10.217 --> 00:37:11.517
She calls him a pothead.

00:37:11.517 --> 00:37:12.957
He calls her a drunk.

00:37:12.957 --> 00:37:19.417
Then they both realize you're home and become completely different people, welcoming you and asking how your day was, champ.

00:37:19.417 --> 00:37:25.977
They each go their separate ways, with mom telling you dinner is on the table, which you eat very sadly alone.

00:37:25.977 --> 00:37:34.237
I love that they're just that couple that shares a Facebook account, and are just screaming at each other, and then fucking like rabbits.

00:37:34.237 --> 00:37:37.737
They're the worst people on earth, and we all know exactly who they are.

00:37:38.917 --> 00:37:47.777
As you tuck yourself into bed, mom comes by deep into her third bottle of Chardonnay, saying that whatever happens, she always loved you.

00:37:47.777 --> 00:37:48.557
Oh my god.

00:37:48.557 --> 00:37:51.257
Ben closes the door behind her.

00:37:51.257 --> 00:37:55.437
Night falls on South Park, as the Coon narrates the scene.

00:37:55.437 --> 00:38:02.917
It's a full moon, which brings out the creeps, but it also brings out the Coon and Friends.

00:38:04.037 --> 00:38:11.937
Coon has a mission for you, and he teams you up with a member of Coon and Friends you have yet to meet, Scott Malkinson's Captain Diabetes.

00:38:13.177 --> 00:38:17.557
I love him and his list so much.

00:38:17.557 --> 00:38:18.977
Yeah, I love Scott Malkinson.

00:38:18.977 --> 00:38:20.317
They don't use him nearly enough.

00:38:20.317 --> 00:38:22.697
No, they really need to pull him out of the tool shed.

00:38:22.697 --> 00:38:23.597
Yeah.

00:38:23.597 --> 00:38:24.717
No, tool shed is Stan.

00:38:24.717 --> 00:38:25.917
God damn it, Tom.

00:38:25.917 --> 00:38:27.577
Well, I stan him.

00:38:29.357 --> 00:38:33.357
He has a lead on the girl with a dick tattoo, and tells you to come along.

00:38:33.357 --> 00:38:42.217
As you follow behind, you pass by the Marsh residence, where you see Randy, drunk as a motherfucker, keying the shit out of his wife's car.

00:38:43.297 --> 00:38:44.617
And just her car, too.

00:38:44.617 --> 00:38:46.377
He leaves his car alone.

00:38:47.657 --> 00:38:56.577
He says he's going to pick up some more beer, but Captain Diabetes steals his keys, saying he can't drive drunk, which makes Randy attack.

00:38:56.577 --> 00:39:04.057
After the battle, the two of you head into downtown South Park so you can check out the Peppermint Hippo, a strip club where the girl with a dick tattoo works.

00:39:04.257 --> 00:39:08.957
And a real strip club about like a mile off of the strip in Las Vegas?

00:39:08.957 --> 00:39:10.757
Yeah, there is one now.

00:39:11.777 --> 00:39:16.377
Downtown is a very different place at night.

00:39:16.377 --> 00:39:19.257
The adults are debaucherous.

00:39:19.257 --> 00:39:20.997
Drunk people litter the streets.

00:39:20.997 --> 00:39:25.077
There are beer bottles and trash fucking everywhere.

00:39:25.077 --> 00:39:28.397
The only reason is because there's a cover band in town.

00:39:29.697 --> 00:39:36.737
There's so fucking little to do in South Park, Colorado that anytime anything happens, the town goes ballistic.

00:39:36.737 --> 00:39:38.057
That's true.

00:39:38.057 --> 00:39:39.877
Here's the thing.

00:39:39.877 --> 00:39:45.077
Both Andrea and I thought this portrayal was an exaggeration when we played it the first time.

00:39:45.077 --> 00:39:47.257
Oh, that's because we played it in LA.

00:39:47.257 --> 00:39:49.117
Then we moved to downtown Denver.

00:39:49.117 --> 00:39:52.997
And then we moved to downtown fucking Denver.

00:39:52.997 --> 00:40:02.637
I'm not even remotely kidding when I say this game downplays just how gross downtown Denver is at night between Thursday and Saturday night.

00:40:02.637 --> 00:40:03.937
Absolutely fucking lutely.

00:40:03.937 --> 00:40:11.457
During the day, it's just people in puffy vests walking their fucking golden retrievers talking about where they're going to hike that weekend.

00:40:11.457 --> 00:40:13.437
After the sun goes down.

00:40:13.437 --> 00:40:15.097
Oh my God.

00:40:15.097 --> 00:40:16.397
The floors are sticky.

00:40:16.397 --> 00:40:18.637
I don't know where or how that happened.

00:40:18.637 --> 00:40:20.497
It is goddamn disgusting.

00:40:20.497 --> 00:40:24.417
If you're from Denver and you're thinking, oh, come on, it's not that bad.

00:40:25.157 --> 00:40:31.037
We lived at 21st and Markit, which I'm sure just made you go, oh yeah, that is pretty bad.

00:40:31.037 --> 00:40:35.377
If you're wondering what that means, we lived a block away from Coors Stadium.

00:40:35.417 --> 00:40:36.297
Oh God.

00:40:36.297 --> 00:40:38.497
Where the Rockies play.

00:40:38.497 --> 00:40:41.537
So we were downtown, downtown, like not fucking around.

00:40:41.537 --> 00:40:51.357
We are in the middle of it and my favorite game to play was to go out at 11 PM and count, not just seek out, but count the breakups.

00:40:52.037 --> 00:40:53.477
Oh my God.

00:40:53.477 --> 00:41:01.457
The amount of times I've heard, Lauren, go fuck yourself, is easily in the dozens and I'm not exaggerating.

00:41:01.457 --> 00:41:02.297
Holy shit.

00:41:02.297 --> 00:41:04.097
It's the best fucking game.

00:41:04.097 --> 00:41:07.797
And then you realize the streets are littered in Coors cans.

00:41:07.797 --> 00:41:09.937
Yeah.

00:41:09.937 --> 00:41:16.357
Well, anyway, at the Peppermint Hippo, you are blocked by security as you are under 21 years old.

00:41:16.357 --> 00:41:23.337
Captain Diabetes chugs a bottle of apple juice, sending him into a diabetic rage and giving him immense strength.

00:41:23.337 --> 00:41:24.497
Is that how diabetes works?

00:41:24.497 --> 00:41:25.457
I don't think so.

00:41:26.897 --> 00:41:30.977
He topples a payphone up against a wall so you can sneak in through a window.

00:41:30.977 --> 00:41:33.497
Also, did I really just say payphone?

00:41:33.497 --> 00:41:34.657
You're showing your age.

00:41:34.657 --> 00:41:35.837
The game is.

00:41:35.837 --> 00:41:36.897
True.

00:41:36.897 --> 00:41:41.817
Inside, you split up to look for the girl with a dick tattoo, but to no avail.

00:41:41.817 --> 00:41:48.337
Captain Diabetes comes up with the idea to find the drunkest guys in there and take them to the champagne room for a private dance.

00:41:49.557 --> 00:41:55.197
They're so drunk, they don't realize you're a couple of kids, or maybe they do and just don't care.

00:41:55.197 --> 00:42:11.937
Captain Diabetes gives one a lap dance fully clothed and asks if they've ever gotten a dance from a girl with a dick tattoo before, but they refuse to answer until the cute one starts dancing too, meaning you, which takes you into a lap dance minigame.

00:42:11.937 --> 00:42:17.757
The goal of the game is to grind on the man's junk while farting up a storm so that he makes you stop dancing.

00:42:19.517 --> 00:42:23.057
I've never been to a strip club, but I do imagine that's exactly what happens in them.

00:42:23.057 --> 00:42:24.517
That's exactly what happens at them.

00:42:24.517 --> 00:42:25.997
I knew it.

00:42:25.997 --> 00:42:31.677
Now that you've danced, they tell you that the girl with a dick tattoo is named Classy.

00:42:31.677 --> 00:42:37.897
That's Classy with an I and a little dick that hangs off the C, which fucks the L out of the A-S-S.

00:42:37.897 --> 00:42:39.337
Yeah, it does.

00:42:39.337 --> 00:42:42.037
You head back into the main club to look for Classy.

00:42:42.037 --> 00:42:44.757
That's when you notice the DJ calling the next dancer to the stage.

00:42:45.497 --> 00:42:51.737
Captain Diabetes suggests distracting the DJ so he can call out Classy's name to make her come out.

00:42:51.737 --> 00:42:59.717
Since we're already crossing every fucking line imaginable, you roofie a drink with one of your farts and bring it to the DJ.

00:43:00.857 --> 00:43:03.577
I love this name so goddamn much.

00:43:03.577 --> 00:43:11.317
He immediately gets sick and runs off, so Captain Diabetes takes over and calls Classy to the main stage.

00:43:11.317 --> 00:43:14.597
She comes running out like, what the fuck, I'm not supposed to go on yet.

00:43:14.597 --> 00:43:18.777
Looking at the two of you, she assumes you're undercover cops and she takes off running.

00:43:18.777 --> 00:43:22.377
You do have like a 21 Jump Street vibe, but like I guess in reverse.

00:43:22.377 --> 00:43:23.757
Right.

00:43:23.757 --> 00:43:25.077
12 Jump Street?

00:43:25.077 --> 00:43:30.357
In the dressing room, Classy attempts to stop you by enlisting the help of other strippers.

00:43:30.357 --> 00:43:35.277
The DJ then narrates the fight from the bathroom while he recovers from the fartini you just served him.

00:43:35.557 --> 00:43:38.077
Fartini!

00:43:38.077 --> 00:43:41.137
You fight your way through the strippers trying to get to Classy.

00:43:41.157 --> 00:43:44.937
I remember this being a kick in the fucking shins battle.

00:43:44.937 --> 00:43:46.077
Yeah, this is a hard one.

00:43:46.077 --> 00:43:48.237
Yeah, the strippers made it real hard.

00:43:49.857 --> 00:44:04.957
You fight your way through the strippers trying to get to Classy and just as you catch up to her, she calls on her secret weapon, the peppermint rhino's resident rhino size stripper, the queen of Quiffies herself, spontaneous bootay.

00:44:04.957 --> 00:44:07.597
Quiffies.

00:44:07.597 --> 00:44:08.557
Quiffies.

00:44:08.557 --> 00:44:15.477
It's a fantastic boss fight where you're chasing after one character while being chased by another.

00:44:15.477 --> 00:44:21.457
It's in these moments where you realize just how elevated the combat has become in the series and it absolutely shines here.

00:44:21.457 --> 00:44:27.537
It truly does, but I also remember fucking it up a lot and being like, god damn it, why aren't I better at this?

00:44:27.857 --> 00:44:32.177
Right, but it's not just good for a South Park game, it's good for a video game.

00:44:32.177 --> 00:44:33.317
Facts.

00:44:33.317 --> 00:44:37.137
You escape Boutay chasing Classy out the back door of the strip club.

00:44:37.137 --> 00:44:42.377
She runs across the alley to the restaurant next door, pounding on the door saying the cops are here.

00:44:42.377 --> 00:44:45.777
A man lets her in and pulls a gun on you when you approach.

00:44:45.777 --> 00:44:50.197
He says he's not afraid to use the gun and demonstrates this fact by firing it in the air.

00:44:50.197 --> 00:44:51.457
Jesus.

00:44:51.457 --> 00:44:55.717
Suddenly, the restaurant's neon sign falls from above, pan-kicking his body beneath it.

00:44:56.397 --> 00:44:58.057
You love instant karma, don't you?

00:44:58.057 --> 00:44:59.897
Right.

00:44:59.897 --> 00:45:05.437
The carnage is blocking the door now, so Captain Diabetes goes into another apple juice rage to move it.

00:45:05.437 --> 00:45:07.597
He's going to lose a foot by the third game.

00:45:07.597 --> 00:45:11.217
Even with increased strength, it's still too heavy.

00:45:11.217 --> 00:45:17.697
Captain Diabetes goes to give himself an insulin shot to balance the sugar rush, only to find out he's out of insulin.

00:45:17.697 --> 00:45:19.977
And those shits are expensive?

00:45:19.977 --> 00:45:25.037
His body goes into shock, seizing up, and Captain Diabetes falls over dead.

00:45:25.497 --> 00:45:27.297
Oh, shit!

00:45:27.297 --> 00:45:29.057
A vision of God appears.

00:45:29.057 --> 00:45:30.697
Sorry, Morgan Freeman.

00:45:30.697 --> 00:45:31.977
You said God, I get it.

00:45:31.977 --> 00:45:37.497
He reminds you that you never gave the Coon that Enchirito, suggesting you eat it.

00:45:37.497 --> 00:45:42.937
The resulting fart is so powerful, it rewinds time to just before the man shot the gun.

00:45:46.037 --> 00:45:48.617
Just like Max in Life is Strange.

00:45:50.797 --> 00:45:56.897
He looks around freaked out, wondering how he's alive again, and runs inside terrified, having just repatriated.

00:46:02.942 --> 00:46:09.682
Captain Diabetes is also wondering what just happened, as he remembers going into shock and seeing a bright white light.

00:46:09.682 --> 00:46:11.242
Then he was here.

00:46:11.242 --> 00:46:14.362
Oh well, you still need to find the stripper with the dick tattoo.

00:46:14.362 --> 00:46:15.122
Is he Buffy?

00:46:15.122 --> 00:46:16.982
Like, I was in heaven.

00:46:16.982 --> 00:46:19.482
You guys pulled me out of heaven.

00:46:19.482 --> 00:46:25.802
You call into the Coon to let him know where Classy is, and he sends all available friends to the restaurant to help you.

00:46:25.802 --> 00:46:28.602
It's a busy night with most of the tables full.

00:46:28.602 --> 00:46:34.942
Each guest housing bottles of wine while judging their friends and family for their own vices behind their backs.

00:46:34.942 --> 00:46:41.602
You don't find Classy, but you do run into the Coon with Human Kite and Mosquito sitting at a table having just ordered dinner.

00:46:41.602 --> 00:46:46.822
Coon says that they have the front of house covered telling you to go into the kitchen to see if you can find her.

00:46:46.822 --> 00:46:53.682
You go through the kitchen where you kill all the employees doing their job, but still no sign of Classy.

00:46:53.682 --> 00:46:59.022
You find a back room and open the door, revealing a room full of cats and cages.

00:47:00.682 --> 00:47:05.522
Captain Diabetes calls it in to the Coon, who asks if Scrambles is one of them.

00:47:05.522 --> 00:47:07.622
Unfortunately, he's not.

00:47:07.622 --> 00:47:11.802
Then he asks if you found Classy, and Captain Diabetes says, no.

00:47:11.802 --> 00:47:15.282
So Coon's like, then why the fuck are you calling me?

00:47:16.742 --> 00:47:25.462
There's another back room door in this one, so you walk through it to find four Italian mobsters playing poker at a table with Classy standing nearby.

00:47:25.462 --> 00:47:27.582
Classy goes, see, the cops are chasing me.

00:47:28.742 --> 00:47:33.102
One of the gangsters stands up, pointing and goes, that's no cop.

00:47:33.102 --> 00:47:34.762
That's Captain Diabetes.

00:47:37.582 --> 00:47:40.062
That lore has made it.

00:47:40.062 --> 00:47:42.342
Fuck yeah, Captain Diabetes.

00:47:42.342 --> 00:47:48.022
They decide that since Captain Diabetes and his sidekick aren't cops, then that means they can shoot them.

00:47:48.022 --> 00:47:48.962
Oh shit.

00:47:48.962 --> 00:47:52.222
Then they'll shoot Classy too for having led them here.

00:47:52.222 --> 00:47:55.522
The gangster cocks his gun, saying goodbye to Captain Diabetes.

00:47:56.622 --> 00:48:12.202
When the door gets kicked in, with wine glass in hand and pants around his ankles, a beaten bloody belligerent buffoon of a binge drinker, Randy Marsh comes in screaming, give me back my fucking keys.

00:48:12.202 --> 00:48:14.942
Fuck yeah, you ate that shit.

00:48:17.382 --> 00:48:23.522
He beats up the guy holding the gun, and the others try to run away, saying he's red wine drunk, the worst drunk there is.

00:48:23.522 --> 00:48:24.342
That's a fact.

00:48:25.142 --> 00:48:32.882
Randy absolutely thrashes them all, then turns on Captain Diabetes, demanding he turn over the fucking keys.

00:48:32.882 --> 00:48:36.782
After you kick his ass, he finally agrees to take a cab home.

00:48:36.782 --> 00:48:40.942
I love that he walked this far to get his car keys.

00:48:40.942 --> 00:48:43.842
My guy, you're mobile.

00:48:43.842 --> 00:48:45.542
Just grab the fucking beer while you're out.

00:48:45.542 --> 00:48:49.242
Yeah, you've definitely passed a liquor store.

00:48:49.242 --> 00:48:51.022
It's South Park.

00:48:51.022 --> 00:48:56.002
Classy is impressed and scared of you all, so she agrees to give you information.

00:48:56.002 --> 00:49:04.642
There's a big time kingpin attempting to bring together the Italian gangs and the Chinese gangs in South Park so we can introduce a new drug onto the street.

00:49:04.642 --> 00:49:06.602
The Coon's like, Cool.

00:49:06.602 --> 00:49:08.702
Have you seen Scrambles?

00:49:08.702 --> 00:49:15.502
Next thing you know, all of Coon and Friends are back at headquarters, with Classy describing all the ins and outs of the new crime syndicate.

00:49:15.502 --> 00:49:19.662
Again, Coon interrupts her and asks about the missing cat.

00:49:19.662 --> 00:49:23.922
She's like, Oh, that's the Chinese gang, Yaqui, Baba or some shit.

00:49:23.922 --> 00:49:27.942
They're paying sixth graders to steal cats, which Classy thinks is fucked up.

00:49:27.942 --> 00:49:29.582
No pussy deserves to get stolen.

00:49:29.582 --> 00:49:32.362
Do you know what I am saying?

00:49:32.362 --> 00:49:35.422
Just as she's about to reveal the plan for the cats, Mrs.

00:49:35.422 --> 00:49:42.682
Cartman comes storming into headquarters, saying that it's the middle of the night and everyone needs to go home right now or she's calling the parents.

00:49:43.702 --> 00:49:48.162
Classy says that Coon and Friends offered her protection and she's not going anywhere.

00:49:48.162 --> 00:49:51.022
Coon tells Fastpass to take her with him and to keep her safe.

00:49:51.802 --> 00:49:56.822
So, crutch-bound Jimmy Vollmer lifts her into the air and zips out of the house at lightning speed.

00:49:56.822 --> 00:50:01.002
I love that he's Fastpass and is just zipping all over the place.

00:50:01.002 --> 00:50:02.762
Like, there's nothing satisfying about it.

00:50:02.762 --> 00:50:04.462
Right, it's so good.

00:50:04.462 --> 00:50:22.402
The next day, the morning news show Good Morning South Park airs, describing the events of the night before, declaring that a new vigilante crime fighter has taken down the Famboni crime family, as declared by South Park's number one news correspondent, a midget in a bikini outside Bucca da Fagaccini.

00:50:22.402 --> 00:50:24.182
Again, these are not Tom's words.

00:50:24.182 --> 00:50:26.742
He's just reciting what happened in the game.

00:50:26.742 --> 00:50:29.622
Is this why people think South Park isn't woke?

00:50:31.022 --> 00:50:34.482
Because I think I just committed a couple hate crimes simply describing what happened.

00:50:34.482 --> 00:50:38.822
You absolutely did, which is why I want to make it clear.

00:50:38.822 --> 00:50:40.402
Just reiterating the story.

00:50:40.402 --> 00:50:41.402
It could be worse.

00:50:41.402 --> 00:50:44.202
I could be quoting Classy who says the n-word every other sentence.

00:50:44.202 --> 00:50:45.362
Please don't do that, Tom.

00:50:45.362 --> 00:50:47.422
No, no, no, no.

00:50:47.422 --> 00:50:49.202
Please don't do that.

00:50:49.202 --> 00:50:52.322
The reporter interviews the townsfolk about the new hero.

00:50:52.322 --> 00:50:55.602
Some saying they feel comforted knowing he was here.

00:50:55.602 --> 00:50:58.522
Others saying he stinks and they don't like him.

00:50:59.582 --> 00:51:02.002
Guy with two hands sounds hot.

00:51:02.002 --> 00:51:07.422
One question remains though, who is the farting vigilante?

00:51:07.422 --> 00:51:10.542
The chief of police was watching the newscast and turns off the TV.

00:51:11.702 --> 00:51:17.822
He turns to the Italian mobsters you faced the night before, telling them they really fucked up the plan.

00:51:17.822 --> 00:51:20.882
The Italians were just supposed to move the drugs through South Park.

00:51:20.882 --> 00:51:23.882
The Chinese and Russians were going to do the rest.

00:51:23.882 --> 00:51:30.502
Nobody can know that the police are secretly spiking drugs and alcohol to cause the citizens to commit more crimes.

00:51:31.522 --> 00:51:35.282
The chief walks over to a cat that is tied up to a little wooden structure.

00:51:35.282 --> 00:51:40.442
He holds a jar over the cat's rear end, and the cat sprays territory marker into the jar.

00:51:41.822 --> 00:51:45.482
This is called cheese in South Park lore.

00:51:45.482 --> 00:51:57.542
In one of the most iconic episodes of the series, titled Major Boobage, it's discovered that if you allow a cat to spray you in the face with its territory marking piss, it will make you trip fucking balls.

00:51:57.542 --> 00:51:59.242
I don't believe that works in real life.

00:51:59.242 --> 00:52:00.482
Please do not do this.

00:52:00.482 --> 00:52:02.762
Do not try this at home.

00:52:02.762 --> 00:52:07.682
So the plan is to spread this cheese all over South Park and make people lose control.

00:52:08.902 --> 00:52:17.522
Later that day, after school, you and your friends change back into your superhero uniforms and continue your investigation into the missing cats.

00:52:17.522 --> 00:52:21.062
Classy won't speak with anyone because she doesn't have her meds with her.

00:52:21.062 --> 00:52:25.042
She tells you to go fetch quest her meds, then she'll talk.

00:52:25.042 --> 00:52:29.562
While out on the quest, you get cornered by a group of Raisin's employees.

00:52:29.562 --> 00:52:32.762
They're mad at you for helping Mosquito run out on his bill.

00:52:32.762 --> 00:52:40.922
They have their own version of spontaneous bouté, a tween version essentially, but mid-fight, they all stop saying there's something wrong.

00:52:40.922 --> 00:52:44.102
Their social media accounts are all getting trolled.

00:52:44.102 --> 00:52:53.662
The large one's saying they just lost a thousand subscribers, with another one saying her relationship status just changed to dating Eric Cartman.

00:52:53.662 --> 00:52:56.882
They all run off screaming, leaving you alone in an alley.

00:52:56.882 --> 00:53:03.682
From above, a girl with black hair, wearing a pink mask and covered in strapped on smartphones drops down greeting you.

00:53:04.502 --> 00:53:08.302
It's Wendy Testerberger in her own superheroine persona.

00:53:08.302 --> 00:53:09.922
She tells you not to worry.

00:53:09.922 --> 00:53:15.822
She has bots completely wrecking their socials, and it will take a long time for them to figure out what's going on.

00:53:15.822 --> 00:53:24.262
She says that the kingpin crime boss is running for local office, and that you taking down the Italian crime family shook him to his core.

00:53:24.262 --> 00:53:30.102
She's tracking all of his known associates via Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, even LinkedIn.

00:53:30.102 --> 00:53:34.362
She tells you that if you ever need help, you can rely on her.

00:53:34.362 --> 00:53:35.222
Call Girl.

00:53:35.222 --> 00:53:38.622
Okay, so there's the one you said, was there?

00:53:38.622 --> 00:53:40.782
Not super appropriate for a child.

00:53:40.782 --> 00:53:42.022
No, not at all.

00:53:42.022 --> 00:53:42.682
That's right.

00:53:42.682 --> 00:53:43.902
She's a badass, though.

00:53:43.902 --> 00:53:45.762
Like, she is very meta-heavy.

00:53:45.762 --> 00:53:46.702
Oh, fully.

00:53:46.702 --> 00:53:50.062
She's a great character, but the fact that she calls herself Call Girl is too good.

00:53:50.062 --> 00:53:51.662
She doesn't know.

00:53:52.842 --> 00:53:57.162
Then she climbs back to the rooftops, telling you to be careful out there.

00:53:57.162 --> 00:54:02.402
Responding to a call from Human Kite, he's having some issues with his imposter once again.

00:54:02.402 --> 00:54:08.962
Human Kite 2 is in the backyard being annoying, and Human Kite asks you to do something about him since he can't.

00:54:08.962 --> 00:54:16.122
Human Kite 2 uses his special attack, Cry for Aunt Sheila, and she joins him in battle by his side.

00:54:16.122 --> 00:54:20.582
To the tune of her theme song, you fight the biggest bitch in the whole wide world.

00:54:20.582 --> 00:54:21.742
Hell yeah.

00:54:21.742 --> 00:54:27.282
Despite her son pleading with her to stop fighting his friends, you defeat the mean old bitch with the big stupid hair.

00:54:28.722 --> 00:54:34.442
After the fight, she tells you that she's calling the police and will be pressing charges for assaulting her in her home.

00:54:34.442 --> 00:54:40.242
Human Kite stops her saying that he will let his cousin play too if she promises not to call the police.

00:54:40.242 --> 00:54:44.742
She agrees, taking Human Kite 2 inside to treat his scrapes with some back team.

00:54:44.742 --> 00:54:52.982
As a thank you, Human Kite teaches you a team up move that allows the two of you to combine your fart with his kite to reach elevated platforms.

00:54:52.982 --> 00:54:54.742
Calling it Fart Core.

00:54:57.322 --> 00:55:02.022
In order to get Classy's medication, you need to go to the local medical dispensary.

00:55:02.022 --> 00:55:10.082
After some puzzle-solving that involves Morgan Freeman giving you the ability to stop time, you make your way past the standard dispensary security lasers.

00:55:10.082 --> 00:55:16.142
Inside is everyone's favorite local stoner, Towley, the expert budtender.

00:55:16.142 --> 00:55:18.502
Except he's no longer a stoner.

00:55:18.502 --> 00:55:22.042
He's a year sober, and now he gets high by helping others with their problems.

00:55:22.782 --> 00:55:24.902
This is the most annoying person on earth.

00:55:24.902 --> 00:55:31.462
Turns out, he had been high for so long, he had forgotten he had a wife and kid the whole time.

00:55:31.462 --> 00:55:34.042
So he's been having a nice time getting to know them.

00:55:35.262 --> 00:55:40.782
It just so happens, having a wife and kid is expensive, so he took this job to cover the bills.

00:55:40.782 --> 00:55:43.622
Coon says, you're here to pick up an order for Classy.

00:55:43.622 --> 00:55:49.362
Towley asks, Classy with a Y with a clit hanging off it coming around and licking the shit out of the sea?

00:55:49.362 --> 00:55:50.142
Coon says, no, no, no, no.

00:55:50.682 --> 00:55:55.162
Classy with an I and a dick hanging off it that's fucking the L out of the ASS.

00:55:55.162 --> 00:55:56.462
Common misunderstanding.

00:55:56.462 --> 00:55:57.522
Yeah.

00:55:57.522 --> 00:55:59.662
Towley's like, oh, that Classy.

00:55:59.662 --> 00:56:02.162
Then he starts putting the order together.

00:56:02.162 --> 00:56:08.522
But he starts to freak out, as someone has mixed strains together in the same jar.

00:56:08.522 --> 00:56:11.482
Okay, that is a social faux pas.

00:56:11.482 --> 00:56:12.802
You do not do that.

00:56:12.802 --> 00:56:16.202
Putting Indica and Sativa together?

00:56:16.202 --> 00:56:18.682
People don't want to mix up their mellow with their chill.

00:56:18.682 --> 00:56:19.082
They don't.

00:56:19.862 --> 00:56:33.722
Tauley loses it, saying that his back hurts, he can't sleep, he has no appetite, this town is getting more and more expensive, the only weed he can afford at wholesale, he has to buy from fucking sixth graders, and Freeman knows what they're putting into it.

00:56:35.022 --> 00:56:41.002
Sober Tauley can't take the pressure anymore and fights you, having no other way to relieve his built up stress.

00:56:41.002 --> 00:56:46.462
He calls on the help of the other dispensary employees, and this made me really upset.

00:56:46.462 --> 00:56:49.522
For some fucking reason, they both look like me.

00:56:57.856 --> 00:56:59.076
You know what?

00:57:00.536 --> 00:57:02.156
Give you one guess.

00:57:02.156 --> 00:57:04.216
I guess I'm just a fucking stereotype, okay?

00:57:04.216 --> 00:57:09.256
Yeah, Tom, you walk into any dispensary in Colorado as a whole.

00:57:09.256 --> 00:57:10.436
Guess what you're gonna find?

00:57:10.436 --> 00:57:12.416
Your brother in, Tom.

00:57:12.416 --> 00:57:14.936
Speaking of stereotype, thanks for listening to our podcast.

00:57:14.936 --> 00:57:16.616
Be sure to like and subscribe.

00:57:18.796 --> 00:57:24.036
As you fight, some of the weed in the shop catches fire, causing Towley to get secondhand high.

00:57:24.036 --> 00:57:29.356
This calms him down, and he stops fighting you, giving you Classy's meds.

00:57:29.356 --> 00:57:33.176
Back at Fastpass's house, you give Classy her prescription.

00:57:33.176 --> 00:57:39.136
She takes a hit and tells you that cats are being taken to a storage facility called YouStoreIt.

00:57:39.136 --> 00:57:42.776
On the way, you get a call from the school guidance counselor.

00:57:42.776 --> 00:57:51.216
He says that it turns out gender and sex are a bit more complicated and nuanced than he originally thought, and asks you to come visit him.

00:57:51.216 --> 00:57:59.776
He says that the principal told him he needs to get into more detail with you, as sexual orientation and gender identity have nothing to do with one another.

00:57:59.776 --> 00:58:07.616
So he asks you a series of questions to see how you align in that sense, giving you every option from asexual to pansexual.

00:58:07.616 --> 00:58:14.776
Once again, regardless of how you identify, a truck full of rednecks pull up to fight the whatever sexual you are.

00:58:14.776 --> 00:58:24.316
Now that you're required to let HumanKite2 play with you, from time to time, during a fight, he'll show up uninvited, just to fall flat on his face and quit without ever accomplishing.

00:58:26.076 --> 00:58:28.876
After the fight, a cop car drives by.

00:58:28.876 --> 00:58:34.316
The officer driving says that he heard that you were the farting vigilante the news was talking about.

00:58:34.316 --> 00:58:39.436
He tells you that the chief wants to see you down at the station, so you head there to find out why.

00:58:39.436 --> 00:58:45.296
The chief tells you about the kingpin and gives you an address, saying he'll send some of his best men along with you to stop him.

00:58:45.296 --> 00:58:47.076
That's not comforting.

00:58:47.076 --> 00:58:51.816
Take out the drug kingpin and they'll give you a junior detective badge.

00:58:53.416 --> 00:58:59.256
You break into the house of the kingpin, where you confront a very normal-looking black man cooking dinner for himself.

00:58:59.256 --> 00:59:05.396
He doesn't know who you are or why you're in his house, but you make quick work of him so the police can arrest him.

00:59:05.396 --> 00:59:08.776
Outside the police station, you run into Super Craig.

00:59:08.776 --> 00:59:13.576
If you want to break into U-Store it, he'll need his laptop to bypass security.

00:59:13.576 --> 00:59:16.996
His issue is that his ex-boyfriend Wonder Tweak still has it.

00:59:18.876 --> 00:59:23.676
You play middle man between the exes, exchanging belongings between the two to get the laptop back.

00:59:23.676 --> 00:59:25.316
That's just so annoying.

00:59:25.316 --> 00:59:32.596
After you get the computer, Tweak's dad stops you to thank you for doing everything you can to get the two boys back together.

00:59:32.596 --> 00:59:38.416
Tweak being gay has been really good for the family business, so he really appreciates it.

00:59:38.416 --> 00:59:40.456
For Tweak brother's coffee?

00:59:40.456 --> 00:59:41.856
That's so good.

00:59:41.856 --> 00:59:45.536
He wrote a note he wants you to deliver to Craig, pretending it's from Tweak.

00:59:46.576 --> 00:59:54.256
In it, he asks for couple's counseling, to which Craig agrees, as long as you go too as his emotional support.

00:59:54.256 --> 01:00:00.276
Tweak also agrees, saying he wants you there too, since Craig seems to think most clearly when you're around.

01:00:00.276 --> 01:00:08.316
The police chief calls again, saying that the last guy you took down wasn't actually the kingpin, and instead was just a low-level street thug.

01:00:08.316 --> 01:00:11.396
The real kingpin lives in a mansion.

01:00:11.396 --> 01:00:13.416
He gives you the new address and sends you after him.

01:00:14.536 --> 01:00:18.736
After bypassing security, you break into the kingpin's mansion.

01:00:18.736 --> 01:00:22.536
You find him in his home office, working out on an elliptical machine.

01:00:22.536 --> 01:00:28.956
He's an early to mid-50s black man in a jumpsuit, and he wonders just who the fuck you are and how you got into his house.

01:00:28.956 --> 01:00:29.876
Yeah.

01:00:29.876 --> 01:00:33.296
You beat him up and the police arrive to arrest him.

01:00:33.296 --> 01:00:42.656
Back at Coon and Friends headquarters, they're arguing over the order of the franchise films and whether Super Craig should get introduced in the second Coon and Friends movie instead of his own film.

01:00:43.416 --> 01:00:48.636
Coon argues that that would be very DC of them, so absolutely not.

01:00:48.636 --> 01:00:52.816
The Coon asks the others to leave so he can have a private word with you.

01:00:52.816 --> 01:00:54.936
He tells you that today is a special day.

01:00:54.936 --> 01:01:02.796
They have decided that you will be getting your own Netflix series after the Fastpass mini series airs.

01:01:02.796 --> 01:01:07.216
But in order to be ready for your own show, you'll need more powers.

01:01:07.216 --> 01:01:11.736
So he sets you up with a third class of fighter, allowing you to obtain even more super moves.

01:01:11.896 --> 01:01:12.856
Hell, yeah.

01:01:12.856 --> 01:01:20.356
As well as make a slight adjustment to the tragic backstory of discovering your dad fucking your mom.

01:01:20.356 --> 01:01:27.596
This time, an alien takes you to your parents' room, where you see your dad fucking your mom.

01:01:27.596 --> 01:01:30.536
Devastating.

01:01:30.536 --> 01:01:33.676
After the meeting, Coon and Friends receives an invitation.

01:01:33.676 --> 01:01:37.096
It's from The Freedom Pals, asking to meet on the playground.

01:01:37.096 --> 01:01:43.556
When you arrive with the Coon in tow, Stan Marsh appears, wielding a power drill dressed as the mighty Toolshed.

01:01:43.556 --> 01:01:44.616
Hell yeah.

01:01:44.616 --> 01:01:49.756
He says that he knows you were the one to take his dad's keys last night, and he just wanted to thank you.

01:01:49.756 --> 01:01:52.916
He didn't expect that from somebody in Coon and Friends.

01:01:52.916 --> 01:02:00.216
Coon laughs, making fun of Toolshed for belonging to a second tier superhero franchise led by a guy in a wheelchair.

01:02:00.216 --> 01:02:00.496
Dr.

01:02:00.496 --> 01:02:04.056
Timothy's voice fills the air saying, at least he's not a fat little phone stealer.

01:02:05.536 --> 01:02:05.756
Dr.

01:02:05.756 --> 01:02:09.116
Timothy arrives on the scene with Tupperware and Mysterion.

01:02:09.116 --> 01:02:17.016
Words of aggression are exchanged between the two groups of superheroes, culminating in the Coon yelling, Civil War 2, bitches, let's fucking go.

01:02:17.016 --> 01:02:18.736
Yeah!

01:02:18.736 --> 01:02:27.716
After their defeat, Toolshed says that the only reason Coon and Friends won was because of The New Kid, saying he still owes you one for saving his dad.

01:02:27.716 --> 01:02:32.736
Coon laughs at Toolshed as he leaves, telling him to have fun letting Zack Snyder fuck their whole franchise up.

01:02:35.196 --> 01:02:40.596
Back at headquarters, the Coon reveals the plan to infiltrate You Store It later that night.

01:02:40.596 --> 01:02:45.116
Mosquito wonders how the entire facility is surrounded by Lego lava.

01:02:45.116 --> 01:02:52.216
Human Kite says that one of Toolshed's powers is the ability to clear lava, and he just told you he owes you a favor.

01:02:52.216 --> 01:02:55.856
So you decide to cash in that favor to get past the lava bricks.

01:02:55.856 --> 01:02:59.556
The Coon dismisses the team, telling them to get plenty of rest before the heist night.

01:03:00.556 --> 01:03:04.936
Back at home, mom and dad are fighting again.

01:03:04.936 --> 01:03:10.756
Dad says finding out more about your gender, your sexual orientation, hell, even your race could be disastrous.

01:03:10.756 --> 01:03:15.456
Finding out about your race could be disastrous is crazy.

01:03:15.456 --> 01:03:18.256
Then they see you and completely flip the switch.

01:03:18.256 --> 01:03:25.856
This time a little less completely as they do that thing parents do where they pretend everything is just fine and there's nothing to worry about.

01:03:25.856 --> 01:03:30.556
Now head to the dining room to eat dinner alone and go to bed, which you do.

01:03:30.556 --> 01:03:35.736
The Coon narrates, saying, night falls upon the town like a fat, slimy turd.

01:03:37.056 --> 01:03:44.536
Only one team knows how to deal with fat turds, Coon and Friends, hashtag fuck freedom pals.

01:03:44.536 --> 01:03:46.196
He says hashtag out loud.

01:03:46.196 --> 01:03:48.076
Oh yeah.

01:03:48.076 --> 01:03:51.256
Outside your house, tool shed is waiting for you.

01:03:51.256 --> 01:03:55.396
On the way, he tells you his tragic backstory.

01:03:55.396 --> 01:04:06.136
He and his father were working in the garage when a lightning bolt struck the workbench, fusing the power tools to tool shed's body, but leaving his father mentally destroyed.

01:04:06.136 --> 01:04:11.176
Cue Randy Marsh keying his wife's car, drunk as a skunk once again.

01:04:11.176 --> 01:04:12.656
Fuck yeah, Randy.

01:04:12.656 --> 01:04:18.896
Sharon Marsh opens a window from the house and tells him to stop keying her fucking car and to come back inside.

01:04:18.896 --> 01:04:20.696
So he does without question.

01:04:20.696 --> 01:04:24.116
He rarely listens to her, so that's actually impressive.

01:04:24.356 --> 01:04:24.876
Yeah, right?

01:04:24.876 --> 01:04:28.856
Maybe it's because he's so fucking shit-housed, but good for you, buddy.

01:04:28.856 --> 01:04:35.116
Toolshed says that while his dad is usually pretty stupid, he's been getting a lot worse lately.

01:04:35.116 --> 01:04:42.696
At the storage facility, the rest of Coon and Friends are waiting, and Toolshed says he only promised to help you, not Coon and Friends.

01:04:42.696 --> 01:04:45.696
The others argue that you want the same thing they want.

01:04:45.696 --> 01:04:48.596
Helping you just happens to help them.

01:04:48.596 --> 01:04:54.516
So shut up and clear the lava, which he does using a nearby air compressor he plugs into.

01:04:54.516 --> 01:04:57.716
Once clear, you head inside the U-Storit facility.

01:04:57.716 --> 01:05:04.796
As you cross the threshold, Christmas lights spring to life, and a giant TV turns on.

01:05:04.796 --> 01:05:14.876
Filling the screen is one of South Park's most notorious supervillains, the tinfoil-topped titan of terror, Professor Chaos.

01:05:16.656 --> 01:05:19.376
Now, I'm going to pause here for just a moment to apologize.

01:05:20.376 --> 01:05:26.716
I kind of lied by omission a little earlier regarding two South Park facts, and for that I'm sorry.

01:05:26.716 --> 01:05:31.936
The first one being that in season 19, South Park experimented with serialization.

01:05:31.936 --> 01:05:36.576
I implied that this was the first time they had done this outside of Mini-Arcs.

01:05:36.576 --> 01:05:39.076
But that's not true.

01:05:39.076 --> 01:05:44.676
The first time they tried it was in season 6, to great success.

01:05:44.676 --> 01:05:49.316
Season 6, like the previous five before it, saw the death of Kenny McCormick.

01:05:50.396 --> 01:05:54.216
The difference this time, he stayed dead.

01:05:54.216 --> 01:06:00.036
The season arc spent most of the episodes dealing with the death of Kenny in one way or another.

01:06:00.036 --> 01:06:10.496
One of those B stories saw the boys attempt to replace Kenny with a new best friend, semi-introducing audiences to the character of Butters Stotch.

01:06:10.496 --> 01:06:17.616
Butters had been around since the premiere of South Park, but had never really been given any development until the search for a new friend occurred.

01:06:18.456 --> 01:06:24.956
When Butters didn't receive a callback for his audition to the friend group, it set him down a dark path.

01:06:24.956 --> 01:06:28.136
This led to the other lie I told.

01:06:28.136 --> 01:06:36.176
Butters is the true originator of the super personas in the South Park canon, not the Coon and Mysterion.

01:06:37.156 --> 01:06:43.556
Because Season 6, Episode 6, was titled Professor Chaos.

01:06:43.556 --> 01:06:47.556
Introducing his super villain alter ego to the world.

01:06:47.556 --> 01:07:03.776
Over the next few seasons, Butters would occasionally bring Professor Chaos out to try and mess with the social order of things, often foiled by his own incompetence or talked out of it by his sidekick General Disarray, who reminds him that the Simpsons have already pulled off most of his ideas.

01:07:05.896 --> 01:07:20.096
Kenny returned from the dead the following season, the show resumed its episodic nature, and Butters joined the regular ensemble from there out, forever solidifying him as one of the core cast members, despite being rejected by the friend group initially.

01:07:20.096 --> 01:07:23.856
It's honestly hard to imagine South Park without Butters.

01:07:23.856 --> 01:07:25.916
He's become such a central character.

01:07:25.916 --> 01:07:27.296
He's fan-fucking-tastic.

01:07:28.576 --> 01:07:36.376
When the other kids started playing superheroes, he remained based as fuck and chose to continue being the supervillain he already was.

01:07:36.376 --> 01:07:39.356
You know, he's one of the few that's been a sex trafficker.

01:07:41.256 --> 01:07:44.636
He really stayed in his lane and was like, I'm the bad guy.

01:07:44.636 --> 01:07:57.856
Giving him tons of experience over all of them, which has allowed him to build such an incredible fortress here in the U-Storit facility, where General Disarray's grandma has an old storage locker she lets them use as their secret base.

01:07:57.856 --> 01:08:11.136
Professor Chaos says that he had been given $20,000 to stop anyone from breaking into U-Storit, but he only needed a couple hundred for the first wave of his army of minions.

01:08:11.136 --> 01:08:17.216
Dozens of hamsters in hamster balls wearing adorable tiny tin foil helmets.

01:08:19.596 --> 01:08:26.056
He unleashes them on you, but they're pretty useless as they're hamsters in hamster balls.

01:08:26.056 --> 01:08:33.096
With the help of your friends, you maneuver your way through Professor Chaos' obstacles and challenges, making it to his secret lair.

01:08:33.096 --> 01:08:45.196
The Coon keeps trying to reason with Chaos, saying that if he was given $20,000, then it belongs to the whole group as Professor Chaos falls under the Coon and Friends franchise.

01:08:45.196 --> 01:08:46.936
Chaos says it's too late.

01:08:46.936 --> 01:08:49.856
He already spent it on more minions and an endless supply of lava.

01:08:51.356 --> 01:08:51.876
Oh, yeah.

01:08:51.876 --> 01:08:54.776
Of course, the kid would spend $20,000 on Legos.

01:08:56.396 --> 01:09:07.676
A bunch of storage units open as tinfoil armored children, dogs, and even a grip of Hispanic adults he picked up down at Home Depot emerge on the scene to attack you.

01:09:07.676 --> 01:09:16.256
After the battle, Call Girl shows up, telling you that you're too focused on Professor Chaos, when you should be worried about the crime syndicate.

01:09:17.436 --> 01:09:22.116
The Coon sees Call Girl and goes, Who the fuck is that?

01:09:22.116 --> 01:09:24.196
Toolshed doesn't even know.

01:09:24.196 --> 01:09:27.916
They all wonder whose franchise she belongs to.

01:09:27.916 --> 01:09:32.336
Coon decides that she's not a part of any of the franchises and tells everyone to ignore her.

01:09:32.336 --> 01:09:33.856
We're not playing with her.

01:09:33.856 --> 01:09:39.556
She says to check Unit 56D and tells you to call her to battle whenever you need help.

01:09:39.556 --> 01:09:45.036
Making this, the first time one of the girl characters from South Park can join your team in the game series.

01:09:45.356 --> 01:09:47.956
Yay, and again, OP as fuck.

01:09:47.956 --> 01:09:49.376
Oh right, she's great.

01:09:49.376 --> 01:09:55.356
Her ultimate move being called Phone Destroyer, a reference to the South Park mobile game of the same name.

01:09:55.356 --> 01:09:57.536
Phone Destroyer.

01:09:57.536 --> 01:10:07.916
In Unit 56D, you encounter Professor Chaos's lead henchman, General Disarray, whose real name is Dougie O'Connell.

01:10:08.776 --> 01:10:14.396
He's two years younger than everyone else and is another character who has been around for a long time, debuting in season three.

01:10:15.296 --> 01:10:20.576
But they never really figured out what to do with him until they decided to turn him into General Disarray.

01:10:20.576 --> 01:10:22.936
And he's been kind of stuck as that character ever since.

01:10:22.936 --> 01:10:25.236
It's a great character, at least.

01:10:25.236 --> 01:10:34.056
After his defeat, he triggers a flood of lava, leaving Super Craig trapped in a circle of it, with the lava quickly filling in around him.

01:10:34.056 --> 01:10:39.656
He gives up pretty much immediately, saying he always knew it would come to this and begins saying his goodbyes.

01:10:39.656 --> 01:10:41.576
I knew I'd always die in a bunch of Lego.

01:10:43.396 --> 01:10:50.916
Toolshed says he can't get rid of the lava, as his power requires an air compressor, and there isn't one nearby.

01:10:50.916 --> 01:10:56.716
So you shove the compressor hose up your ass and fart the lava away with Toolshed's help.

01:10:56.716 --> 01:10:58.056
Naturally.

01:10:58.056 --> 01:11:02.316
Super Craig gets knocked back by the blast, and Coon runs over to help him.

01:11:02.316 --> 01:11:06.596
He pulls out a hypodermic needle and shoves it into Super Craig.

01:11:07.396 --> 01:11:08.516
Oh my god.

01:11:08.516 --> 01:11:10.596
Yeah, I don't remember this shit happening at all.

01:11:10.596 --> 01:11:18.716
Pressing down on the plunger, saying it's an intracardiac injection, Super Craig jumps up all, what the fuck, dude, that could kill me.

01:11:18.716 --> 01:11:20.416
Yeah, that's that shit from Pulp Fiction.

01:11:20.416 --> 01:11:25.296
Everyone jumps down Coon's throat, asking where the fuck he got something like that.

01:11:25.296 --> 01:11:26.876
Coon says to relax.

01:11:26.876 --> 01:11:28.796
He got it online.

01:11:28.836 --> 01:11:30.156
Oh, okay then.

01:11:30.156 --> 01:11:32.916
How else was he gonna stabilize Super Craig?

01:11:32.916 --> 01:11:40.756
Well, continuing through the storage facility, you eventually find a bunch of methhead-looking motherfuckers collecting cheese from a bunch of cats.

01:11:40.756 --> 01:11:46.276
When they realize they've been found, they try to kill you because you've seen too much and the boss will be mad.

01:11:46.276 --> 01:11:48.676
You say some crazy shit on this show.

01:11:48.676 --> 01:11:51.616
Especially the South Park episodes.

01:11:51.616 --> 01:11:59.276
Since you're children, you never actually kill anyone, and when you defeat the methheads, you ask about their boss.

01:11:59.276 --> 01:12:06.236
They say they've already said too much and are dead now anyway, so they blow up their cheese lab with them still inside.

01:12:06.236 --> 01:12:12.316
Back outside the unit, you find Professor Chaos' minions loading dump trucks full of red Lego bricks.

01:12:12.316 --> 01:12:21.616
Chaos declaring through loudspeakers that the whole town will soon be trapped in doors, unable to leave wherever they are when the lava begins to flow.

01:12:21.616 --> 01:12:26.756
You'll be powerless to stop it because he has built his ultimate weapon.

01:12:26.756 --> 01:12:35.436
You turn around to find Professor Chaos powering a 25-foot tall tinfoil mech made out of his migrant worker minions.

01:12:37.416 --> 01:12:40.896
Better known as Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme.

01:12:42.916 --> 01:12:45.076
I love butters more than anything.

01:12:46.796 --> 01:12:54.556
Being made of tinfoil and racist stereotypes, the Mecha dies quickly, leaving Chaos unconscious at your feet.

01:12:54.556 --> 01:13:02.176
Coon says he's going to lock him up in the holding cell back at base, and Chaos protests saying he needs to get home or else he's going to get grounded.

01:13:02.176 --> 01:13:03.316
Again.

01:13:03.316 --> 01:13:07.016
But Coon tells him he should have thought of that before he tried to cover the town in lava.

01:13:07.016 --> 01:13:13.716
Now, if these kids were smart, they'd sell the LEGO bricks online because LEGO retains its value better than most precious metals.

01:13:13.716 --> 01:13:14.536
Facts.

01:13:14.536 --> 01:13:17.216
But knowing butters, he probably bought Mega Box instead.

01:13:17.216 --> 01:13:18.996
God damn it.

01:13:18.996 --> 01:13:23.776
As everyone heads back to headquarters, Human Kite and Toolshed have a moment together.

01:13:23.776 --> 01:13:33.476
Human Kite says it was great working with him again, and asks Toolshed to consider coming back to Coon and Friends, saying they're going to make a billion dollars.

01:13:33.476 --> 01:13:41.356
But Toolshed refuses, saying The Freedom Pals are going to make a zillion, and he heads home instead of joining you at headquarters.

01:13:42.636 --> 01:13:48.476
Back in the basement, Professor Chaos is in his holding cell, while the others sit at the team conference table.

01:13:48.476 --> 01:13:52.236
They're trying to interrogate Chaos, asking who paid him the $20,000.

01:13:53.416 --> 01:13:59.996
But he doesn't know anything, just that whoever it was is trying to unite all the crime families in town.

01:13:59.996 --> 01:14:05.416
He doesn't have a face or a name, as he can change either with the same ease as the wind changing direction.

01:14:07.356 --> 01:14:11.576
The Coon hears this and becomes gravely concerned.

01:14:11.576 --> 01:14:18.376
He says that there's only one person in all of South Park who has that ability, Mitch Connor.

01:14:18.576 --> 01:14:20.556
That motherfucker.

01:14:20.556 --> 01:14:23.616
Everyone but Human Kite says, who the fuck is that?

01:14:24.676 --> 01:14:30.956
Human Kite explains angrily that it's Cartman's dumbass hand puppet.

01:14:34.996 --> 01:14:38.676
The aggression he brings to this conversation.

01:14:38.676 --> 01:14:41.076
Again, Kyle has never liked Cartman.

01:14:41.256 --> 01:14:42.136
Yeah.

01:14:42.136 --> 01:14:44.616
Fully, full on Fronimies.

01:14:44.616 --> 01:14:47.116
The Coon says that it's more complicated than that.

01:14:47.116 --> 01:14:50.296
He has no control over Mitch Conner.

01:14:50.296 --> 01:14:54.396
Mitch Conner takes full ownership of his hand whenever he wants.

01:14:54.396 --> 01:14:56.576
And there's nothing the Coon can do about it.

01:14:56.576 --> 01:14:58.576
Human Kite is just steaming in a corner.

01:14:58.576 --> 01:15:01.116
Like, you motherfucker.

01:15:01.116 --> 01:15:16.916
Now, this is all a reference to a seventh season episode of South Park where Cartman's hand becomes possessed by Jennifer Lopez, which is later revealed to not be Jennifer Lopez, but rather someone named Mitch Conner posing as Jennifer Lopez.

01:15:16.916 --> 01:15:18.776
It's an iconic episode.

01:15:18.776 --> 01:15:25.596
The Coon goes on to explain that while Mitch Conner was caught, he has recently escaped from prison and is on the loose once more.

01:15:25.596 --> 01:15:27.076
He's in these streets.

01:15:27.076 --> 01:15:30.836
Human Kite says, fuck this, I'm out and heads home to get some sleep.

01:15:30.836 --> 01:15:33.356
Just, I don't want any fucking part of this.

01:15:33.356 --> 01:15:34.016
Bye.

01:15:34.016 --> 01:15:37.256
The rest of you follow suit, confused about this turn of events.

01:15:38.416 --> 01:15:42.536
The next morning, we get another segment from Good Morning South Park.

01:15:42.536 --> 01:15:56.136
The Midget Reporter, this time in a fedora, reports about a meth lab explosion at the U-Storit facility on the outskirts of town, with everyone blaming the leader of Coon and Friends, the mysterious farting vigilante.

01:15:56.136 --> 01:16:02.216
The report is followed by more interviews with town folks, calling the farting vigilante both Messiah and Menace.

01:16:03.336 --> 01:16:06.596
The police even issue a warrant for the arrest of the farting vigilante.

01:16:07.256 --> 01:16:10.696
As blowing up a meth lab is a serious crime.

01:16:10.696 --> 01:16:20.136
The police chief holds a press conference and warns the town that Coon and Friends are dangerous, breaking into people's homes and farting on them in their sleep.

01:16:20.136 --> 01:16:24.516
He says to arm yourselves and be ready in case Coon and Friends come knocking.

01:16:24.516 --> 01:16:27.116
Arm yourselves is crazy.

01:16:27.116 --> 01:16:29.036
I love that the crime is farting on you in your sleep.

01:16:29.036 --> 01:16:30.956
Yeah.

01:16:30.956 --> 01:16:34.876
After the press conference, the chief goes to his office alone and picks up the phone.

01:16:35.676 --> 01:16:38.556
On the other line is Mitch Conner.

01:16:38.556 --> 01:16:39.916
The right hand of evil.

01:16:39.916 --> 01:16:40.856
Left hand, actually.

01:16:40.856 --> 01:16:42.196
God damn it.

01:16:42.196 --> 01:16:45.736
Telling the chief to stop worrying about the vigilante.

01:16:45.736 --> 01:16:58.876
Just to be clear, Mitch Conner is literally Cartman's left hand balled into a fist with a face drawn on it, as he uses his thumb as the lower jaw and speaks in his normal voice.

01:16:58.876 --> 01:17:01.416
I love that it says normal voice.

01:17:01.416 --> 01:17:06.376
At least when they were pretending to be J-Lo, it did do at least a feminine voice.

01:17:06.376 --> 01:17:08.276
It wasn't J-Lo.

01:17:08.696 --> 01:17:10.896
It was really just like, tacos!

01:17:12.296 --> 01:17:21.236
But having it just be Cartman's normal speaking voice, not even a semblance of let's make this slightly different is the funniest fucking thing.

01:17:21.236 --> 01:17:23.856
Just his normal voice.

01:17:23.856 --> 01:17:31.856
Mitch tells the chief to focus on getting the product into people's drugs and alcohol, and Mitch will take care of their little vigilante problem.

01:17:31.856 --> 01:17:33.116
The chief asks about the mayor.

01:17:33.736 --> 01:17:36.596
Saying Mitch promised he'd get her out of office.

01:17:36.596 --> 01:17:44.696
But Mitch shuts him down, telling him to focus on the drugs and to stop worrying about everyone else, ending the call.

01:17:44.696 --> 01:17:50.176
Later that afternoon, school is out and you begin to head home to change into your costume.

01:17:50.176 --> 01:17:55.476
Wendy runs up to you through the crowd of students and loudly introduces herself to you.

01:17:55.476 --> 01:18:02.436
Once the two of you are alone, she leans in close and speaks in a hushed tone, saying that call girl wants to meet you in the park later today.

01:18:03.356 --> 01:18:08.596
The situation she told you about the crime syndicate is way worse than she initially thought.

01:18:08.596 --> 01:18:12.136
Walking away, she loudly declares, Well, it was nice meeting you.

01:18:12.136 --> 01:18:13.776
Enjoy town, New Kid.

01:18:13.776 --> 01:18:16.336
Enjoy town is crazy, too.

01:18:16.336 --> 01:18:17.216
What the fuck?

01:18:17.216 --> 01:18:18.596
No one talks like that, Wendy.

01:18:18.596 --> 01:18:20.276
You are being bad at this.

01:18:20.276 --> 01:18:21.196
Don't be suspicious.

01:18:21.196 --> 01:18:22.716
Yeah.

01:18:22.716 --> 01:18:31.436
Once you meet up with call girl, she explains that in the middle of tracking social media posts, someone canceled her data plan without her knowledge or consent.

01:18:32.696 --> 01:18:38.036
This scared her, and she wants you to go to the D-Mobile store with her to figure out what happened.

01:18:38.036 --> 01:18:45.516
Upon your arrival, you discover that D-Mobile has been taken over by crab people.

01:18:45.516 --> 01:18:46.816
They are the crabs.

01:18:46.816 --> 01:18:50.676
They look like crabs, but act like mobile phone salespeople.

01:18:52.596 --> 01:18:54.236
Call girl says that explains it.

01:18:54.236 --> 01:18:58.836
They change their terms of service to force her into a more expensive data plan.

01:18:58.836 --> 01:19:03.576
Deadass, I'm not getting paid to say this, but girl should really be on Mint Mobile.

01:19:05.356 --> 01:19:08.596
You have to defeat their manager, the king crab.

01:19:08.596 --> 01:19:15.476
When you do, the human D-Mobile employees are free, saying those things smelled like crab and kissed like people.

01:19:15.476 --> 01:19:18.096
They kissed like people.

01:19:18.096 --> 01:19:19.776
I want that to be the DLC.

01:19:19.776 --> 01:19:21.396
Fuck Castle Benita.

01:19:23.036 --> 01:19:27.456
As a reward for saving them, they offer to fix her phone and get her data plan restored.

01:19:28.396 --> 01:19:33.596
Thanking you, Call Girl reminds you that you can call her anytime you need help.

01:19:33.596 --> 01:19:43.556
Back at headquarters, the Coon says, Freedom Pals have more information on everything going on in town, and that it looks like their franchise will be the one to get picked up by Netflix as a result.

01:19:43.556 --> 01:19:45.096
Woohoo.

01:19:45.096 --> 01:19:52.896
He proposes sending in a spy, someone the Freedom Pals don't know very well, who can pretend to be a turncoat and join their ranks.

01:19:52.896 --> 01:20:02.596
Professor Chaos reminds the group from his cage that he's still in from the night before, having missed school even, that Freedom Pals have security measures all around their base.

01:20:02.596 --> 01:20:09.016
The only way you can get past it all is with his help, as he is a master hacker.

01:20:09.016 --> 01:20:14.556
Reluctantly, the Coon lets Chaos out of the cell, and he joins you on your quest.

01:20:14.556 --> 01:20:17.136
Classic hero-villain team-up.

01:20:17.136 --> 01:20:21.476
The Coon reminds you that if Professor Chaos tries anything funny, kill him.

01:20:21.476 --> 01:20:22.156
Kill him!

01:20:24.536 --> 01:20:25.736
He is the villain.

01:20:25.736 --> 01:20:28.096
Yeah, but holy shit.

01:20:28.096 --> 01:20:33.496
Professor Chaos leads you to the Freedom Pals' base, and it's in a home you've been to once before.

01:20:33.516 --> 01:20:34.416
Oh?

01:20:34.416 --> 01:20:42.136
It's in the home of the person you were told was the kingpin of the drug trade, the black man in his office on the elliptical.

01:20:42.136 --> 01:20:48.176
Professor Chaos explains that this is the home of Tolkien Black, aka Tupperware, the richest kid in town.

01:20:48.176 --> 01:20:54.936
After breaking into their basement headquarters, Chaos comments on how much nicer it is than the Coon and Friends base.

01:20:54.936 --> 01:20:59.016
Coon's is pretty cool looking, but it's made by Eric Cartman, so it's all kind of shitty.

01:20:59.016 --> 01:21:01.196
It's all cardboard and shit, yeah.

01:21:01.196 --> 01:21:06.956
This base is clean and organized with a lot of real technology as opposed to Coon's pretend technology.

01:21:06.956 --> 01:21:11.516
Yeah, Coon has screens drawn on cardboard and is like, this is my home base.

01:21:11.516 --> 01:21:13.216
Yeah, and here they have screens.

01:21:13.216 --> 01:21:14.756
Just real screens, yeah.

01:21:14.756 --> 01:21:20.176
Suddenly, you find yourself surrounded by tool shed, wonder tweak, Tupperware and Mysterion.

01:21:20.176 --> 01:21:22.336
They immediately accuse you of being a spy.

01:21:22.336 --> 01:21:22.916
Reasonably.

01:21:22.916 --> 01:21:24.836
Here to find out about their top secret plans.

01:21:24.836 --> 01:21:25.876
Yeah.

01:21:25.876 --> 01:21:26.636
The voice of Dr.

01:21:26.636 --> 01:21:29.716
Timothy interrupts, telling everyone to calm down.

01:21:29.716 --> 01:21:31.876
Perhaps The New Kid's intentions are pure.

01:21:31.876 --> 01:21:33.756
Let's hear him out.

01:21:33.756 --> 01:21:38.476
Professor Chaos explains that you wanted to switch franchises and asked him for help.

01:21:38.476 --> 01:21:43.456
So that's why you're both here, because Freedom Pals seem a lot more inclusive.

01:21:43.456 --> 01:21:43.716
Dr.

01:21:43.716 --> 01:21:48.276
Timothy tells the others that Chaos' tinfoil helmet is blocking his ability to read his mind.

01:21:48.276 --> 01:21:51.956
But nonetheless, he believes him.

01:21:51.956 --> 01:21:52.996
I'm sorry.

01:21:52.996 --> 01:21:55.176
The aluminum foiled me.

01:21:56.376 --> 01:21:57.576
That's good.

01:21:57.576 --> 01:22:02.796
Just to make sure, he sends you on a mission with Tupperware so you can prove your loyalty while Dr.

01:22:02.796 --> 01:22:05.876
Timothy works on his top secret plan.

01:22:05.876 --> 01:22:07.956
On your way to help Tupperware, Mr.

01:22:07.956 --> 01:22:16.136
Mackie calls you, saying that he's agreed to mediate some couples counseling with Tweek and Craig, asking you to come join them in the school gymnasium, okay?

01:22:17.556 --> 01:22:28.076
Counseling involves fighting a couple randomly generated school kids wearing shirts that say things like victimization and expectations, representing different issues that get in the way of relationship.

01:22:28.076 --> 01:22:33.456
All of you realizing that the only way to get rid of expectations is to work together.

01:22:33.456 --> 01:22:34.976
Aww.

01:22:34.976 --> 01:22:40.616
Super Craig and Wonder Tweek finally overcome their issues by beating up a bunch of school kids together.

01:22:40.616 --> 01:22:42.856
I mean, I haven't done couples counseling.

01:22:42.856 --> 01:22:42.996
No.

01:22:43.316 --> 01:22:45.936
But I imagine it's exactly like this.

01:22:47.056 --> 01:22:54.056
Eventually taking each other's hand, ready to give their relationship another shot, thanking you for helping them come back together as a couple.

01:22:55.296 --> 01:22:58.436
After counseling, you meet up with Tupperware.

01:22:58.436 --> 01:23:04.516
Your mission is to do some community service at the local nursing home by performing a song for the elderly.

01:23:04.516 --> 01:23:09.556
But you are a silent protagonist, so your job is to play the instruments.

01:23:09.556 --> 01:23:10.636
Except you don't know how to play any.

01:23:11.756 --> 01:23:16.756
You try a few out as the crowd heckles you, eventually landing on a flugelhorn.

01:23:16.756 --> 01:23:17.736
What is a flugelhorn?

01:23:17.736 --> 01:23:18.796
It's a bugle.

01:23:18.796 --> 01:23:19.876
Got it.

01:23:19.876 --> 01:23:21.076
You shove it up your ass.

01:23:21.076 --> 01:23:21.576
Oh, no.

01:23:21.576 --> 01:23:27.156
And using your fart powers, you become the boogie woogie bugle boy from Company Beehole.

01:23:27.156 --> 01:23:29.436
I think they do that in Tijuana in certain clubs.

01:23:29.436 --> 01:23:31.516
Oh, they absolutely do.

01:23:31.516 --> 01:23:36.176
One of the old men jump up going, it's that farting vigilante from the TV.

01:23:36.176 --> 01:23:37.876
He wants to take away all of our drugs.

01:23:38.896 --> 01:23:44.996
Because never forget, the largest group of pill-popping drug abusers are the elderly.

01:23:44.996 --> 01:23:53.876
They're also all registered to vote and do so in every single election, so please make sure you are as well, because otherwise, they will be making all the decisions for you.

01:23:53.876 --> 01:23:55.676
This took a hard turn and I love it.

01:23:55.676 --> 01:23:57.296
Yeah, there's no joke here, that's just a fact.

01:23:57.296 --> 01:23:59.296
You're just spitting, yeah, go off.

01:23:59.296 --> 01:24:06.776
You fight alongside the other Freedom Pals to protect our democracy, and beat the Depends off the violent drug-addicted thugs who reside in the Shadyacres nursing home.

01:24:07.636 --> 01:24:10.256
That was so graphic to say.

01:24:10.256 --> 01:24:10.516
Dr.

01:24:10.516 --> 01:24:16.636
Timothy and Mysterion, thank you for your help defeating the Olds, and say that you have proven yourself.

01:24:16.636 --> 01:24:24.796
Mysterion has a lead that the Chief of Police is taking bribes, so he wants to investigate, inviting you to come along later that night.

01:24:24.796 --> 01:24:29.376
With this new information, the Coon tells you to come back to headquarters.

01:24:29.376 --> 01:24:41.856
He explains to the others that he intends to arrive at the police station earlier than Freedom Pals, so that he can obtain the information on the Chief of Police first, and get ahead of Freedom Pals in the search for Scramble's the Cat.

01:24:41.856 --> 01:24:51.316
The others don't understand why, when they can just get the info from New Kid afterwards, with the Coon explaining that Classy got arrested while everyone was at school.

01:24:51.316 --> 01:24:53.076
Oh, god damn it, Classy.

01:24:53.076 --> 01:25:06.376
His plan is to let Freedom Pals go in on the bottom floor to do whatever it is they're planning on doing, while Coon and Friends sneak in through the second floor, where they can free Classy as they swore an oath to keep her safe and out of prison.

01:25:06.376 --> 01:25:07.896
Yeah.

01:25:07.896 --> 01:25:15.036
You go home to await the call from Mysterion, and walk in the front door to find your dad calling your mom a stupid whine-o cow.

01:25:15.036 --> 01:25:16.276
Oh, my god.

01:25:16.276 --> 01:25:19.436
They're going to have the best sex tonight.

01:25:19.436 --> 01:25:26.036
I know they're tumultuous, but god damn it if those toxic relationships don't hit sometimes.

01:25:26.036 --> 01:25:29.856
She shoots back, he's one to talk, getting high all the fucking time.

01:25:29.856 --> 01:25:34.496
Dad says that marijuana is at least natural, unlike grapes.

01:25:36.136 --> 01:25:37.036
Does he say that?

01:25:37.036 --> 01:25:37.556
He does.

01:25:37.556 --> 01:25:38.716
That's fucking crazy.

01:25:38.716 --> 01:25:39.636
I love it.

01:25:39.636 --> 01:25:41.676
Holy shit.

01:25:41.676 --> 01:25:46.356
Seeing you, they snap out of the argument, saying hello and good night.

01:25:46.356 --> 01:25:53.416
As you tuck yourself in, mom appears in the doorway, saying you didn't eat your supper and to come downstairs so you can eat.

01:25:53.416 --> 01:25:58.296
Dad comes by and yells at mom, asking if she's really putting that shit in your food still.

01:25:58.296 --> 01:26:00.576
They both start slapping each other back and forth.

01:26:00.756 --> 01:26:03.016
Oh, so we've just jumped from verbal to physical abuse.

01:26:03.016 --> 01:26:04.696
Now it's just pure physical abuse.

01:26:04.696 --> 01:26:06.116
Ugh, that sucks to see.

01:26:06.116 --> 01:26:14.456
Her saying that he's been putting the meds in your food as well, to which dad comes into your room and reminds you that you should really go downstairs and eat your supper, champ.

01:26:14.456 --> 01:26:18.336
Which you sadly do, alone and depressed once again.

01:26:18.336 --> 01:26:19.856
Oh, buddy.

01:26:19.856 --> 01:26:24.556
You fall asleep, only to be awoken by Mysterion opening your bedroom window.

01:26:24.556 --> 01:26:27.256
He tells you to get dressed and meet him outside.

01:26:27.256 --> 01:26:28.676
Also, you have a really cool room.

01:26:30.816 --> 01:26:35.576
I love Mysterion's superhero voice more than most things in this world.

01:26:35.576 --> 01:26:36.436
Right.

01:26:36.436 --> 01:26:37.336
It's such a good voice.

01:26:37.336 --> 01:26:39.816
He does very much like Michael Keaton Batman.

01:26:39.816 --> 01:26:40.396
Yeah.

01:26:40.396 --> 01:26:41.256
It's so good.

01:26:41.256 --> 01:26:42.756
Much more so than Christian Bale.

01:26:42.756 --> 01:26:44.256
Yeah.

01:26:44.256 --> 01:26:50.476
You've been able to group up with Mysterion ever since joining Freedom Pals, but this is your first real mission with him.

01:26:50.476 --> 01:26:57.236
Mysterion's true name is Kenny McCormick, and he's one of two characters outside yourself, with actual superpowers in this universe.

01:26:58.316 --> 01:27:05.716
On the show, they revealed that the whole, oh my god, they killed Kenny thing, is some kind of curse placed upon him.

01:27:05.716 --> 01:27:12.036
If he dies, he just comes back to life the very next day with nobody ever remembering his death.

01:27:12.036 --> 01:27:22.476
In the show, the audience finds out that Kenny's parents attended a Cthulhu worshipping cults meeting one time, and the next thing she knew, Kenny's mom was pregnant.

01:27:22.476 --> 01:27:25.776
The fact that Mysterion can't die is a mechanic in the game as well.

01:27:26.836 --> 01:27:31.316
If he dies during a fight, he comes back as a ghost and can continue fighting.

01:27:31.316 --> 01:27:38.636
If you don't finish the fight fast enough or revive him in time, his body becomes Hugo the Rat Boy as rodents overtake and eat it.

01:27:38.636 --> 01:27:40.976
Rats, rats, rats, rats.

01:27:40.976 --> 01:27:44.116
See, they're taking the cats away.

01:27:44.116 --> 01:27:44.816
That's right.

01:27:44.816 --> 01:27:49.556
And that's how you get the rat plagues, as we discussed in a previous episode.

01:27:50.836 --> 01:27:53.016
This is what happens when you fuck with cats.

01:27:53.016 --> 01:27:54.556
You get little rat boys.

01:27:54.556 --> 01:27:55.596
Do not fuck with cats.

01:27:55.736 --> 01:27:57.396
Don't do it.

01:27:57.396 --> 01:28:00.576
Mysterion takes you downtown toward the police station.

01:28:00.576 --> 01:28:06.256
On this night, the adults are ten times worse than they were the last time you were downtown.

01:28:06.256 --> 01:28:10.096
People flooding the streets in an inebriated frenzy.

01:28:10.096 --> 01:28:15.856
Mysterion says that the adults of this town are usually pretty awful, but this is a whole new level of insanity.

01:28:15.856 --> 01:28:19.856
Something is seriously wrong as they are getting to the point of vandalization and destruction.

01:28:19.856 --> 01:28:21.116
Literally just Denver on St.

01:28:21.116 --> 01:28:21.676
Patrick's Day.

01:28:24.116 --> 01:28:28.996
You have a fun moment with Mysterion while walking, as he comments on your quiet nature.

01:28:28.996 --> 01:28:31.996
He says he can relate to it in ways you probably wouldn't understand.

01:28:31.996 --> 01:28:33.556
Oh, buddy.

01:28:33.556 --> 01:28:37.956
Arriving at the police station, you find the other members of Freedom Pals minus Dr.

01:28:37.956 --> 01:28:39.356
Timothy.

01:28:39.356 --> 01:28:44.716
Mysterion begins running down the plan when Coon and Friends arrive on the scene as well.

01:28:44.716 --> 01:28:47.096
He asks what the fuck they're doing here.

01:28:47.096 --> 01:28:52.596
Coon explains that there's a little girl trapped inside the police station and they're here to break her out.

01:28:52.596 --> 01:28:57.396
Since it has nothing to do with Freedom Pals, he says that the two groups should maybe work together.

01:28:57.396 --> 01:29:01.336
That way, each franchise can accomplish their separate agendas.

01:29:01.336 --> 01:29:08.656
Everyone agrees with Mysterion making a plan to storm the lower level, while Coon and Friends take on the fire escape to the second floor.

01:29:08.656 --> 01:29:13.476
The Coon congratulates him on making such an excellent plan.

01:29:13.476 --> 01:29:15.696
Breaking into the lower level is easy.

01:29:15.696 --> 01:29:18.496
All the cops are zooted out of their fucking minds on cocaine.

01:29:19.836 --> 01:29:28.076
You make it to the chief police and he tries to reason with you, saying he knows it looks like all cops are racist toward black people.

01:29:28.076 --> 01:29:33.676
But you have to remember, there are black cops too, so they can't be racist.

01:29:33.676 --> 01:29:34.516
We don't have enough time.

01:29:34.516 --> 01:29:35.176
We don't have enough time.

01:29:35.176 --> 01:29:35.696
Don't get into it.

01:29:35.696 --> 01:29:36.696
Don't get into it.

01:29:36.696 --> 01:29:40.656
The police are just regular people like anyone else you know with families and friends.

01:29:40.856 --> 01:29:47.296
And if you google police officers 40%, you can find all about what they do to their family and friends.

01:29:47.296 --> 01:29:55.956
As he says this, a random officer walks into the room, sees Tolkien Black standing there doing absolutely nothing, and immediately opens fire on him.

01:29:55.956 --> 01:29:57.256
Jesus Christ.

01:29:57.256 --> 01:30:01.096
The chief is like, God damn it, Levinsky, get your ass upstairs.

01:30:01.096 --> 01:30:03.536
The two run, so you chase after them.

01:30:03.536 --> 01:30:07.716
At the top of the landing, you find yourself outside the holding cells.

01:30:07.716 --> 01:30:10.016
In them are at least a dozen and a half people.

01:30:10.956 --> 01:30:14.476
All of them black, including Tolkin's dad.

01:30:14.476 --> 01:30:17.316
The man you were told was the drug king then.

01:30:17.316 --> 01:30:21.096
You try to free them, but are stopped by SWAT team entering the room.

01:30:21.096 --> 01:30:33.936
After you defeat the highly trained law enforcement officers high on cocaine and cat piss, the chief tells you that if the roles were reversed, and all the cops here were black, with all the inmates being white, nobody would have any problem with it.

01:30:33.936 --> 01:30:37.136
Which means you are the real bigots.

01:30:37.136 --> 01:30:39.116
The cops, the casualties in this situation.

01:30:40.956 --> 01:30:49.396
Seeing that his bullshit didn't stick, he realizes you are a cad till you die and fucks off, leaving you to free the falsely imprisoned.

01:30:49.396 --> 01:30:56.996
Tolkien's dad reminds the other inmates that he's very rich and will be filing a class action lawsuit, so be sure to get his info on the way out.

01:30:56.996 --> 01:30:58.576
Hell yeah.

01:30:58.576 --> 01:31:04.276
You catch up with the chief in his office, where he has a cat strapped to one of those cheese devices.

01:31:04.276 --> 01:31:06.576
Not just any cat either.

01:31:06.576 --> 01:31:07.416
It's scrambles.

01:31:07.836 --> 01:31:09.616
God damn, finally.

01:31:09.616 --> 01:31:13.156
Chief tells you he's sorry for calling you a bigot earlier.

01:31:13.156 --> 01:31:16.816
The real bigots are the politicians.

01:31:16.816 --> 01:31:17.696
They're the real problem.

01:31:17.696 --> 01:31:20.936
They're the ones turning us all against one another.

01:31:20.936 --> 01:31:23.676
Cops are the victims, just like you.

01:31:23.676 --> 01:31:25.636
You had me in the first half.

01:31:27.176 --> 01:31:29.316
Really shit the bed on the landing though.

01:31:29.316 --> 01:31:30.836
Life used to be good.

01:31:30.836 --> 01:31:33.056
They could get away with anything.

01:31:33.056 --> 01:31:41.916
Then the mayor stepped in, saying they had to change how they do things, making them all woke and shit with their body cams and accountability.

01:31:41.916 --> 01:31:45.796
The only way to combat it was by increasing crime in South Park.

01:31:45.796 --> 01:31:49.836
So she would be forced to loosen the reins and allow the cops to do what they do best.

01:31:49.836 --> 01:31:54.676
Take extreme measures against perfectly innocent citizens for minor infractions.

01:31:54.676 --> 01:32:00.856
Leaning over and shoving his face in scrambles asshole, he takes a deep whiff of cheese fresh off the factory lines.

01:32:00.856 --> 01:32:03.316
And the Catholicism left his body.

01:32:03.316 --> 01:32:06.196
Members of both Freedom Pals and Coon and Friends enter the room.

01:32:06.596 --> 01:32:10.816
Immediately noticing scrambles, congratulating you on finding the missing cat.

01:32:10.816 --> 01:32:15.116
Taking in the entirety of both teams, the chief realizes he's outnumbered.

01:32:15.116 --> 01:32:20.716
He stands up saying that there is actually one white guy they keep locked up here.

01:32:20.736 --> 01:32:25.736
One so dangerous they have to keep his cell inside this very office.

01:32:25.736 --> 01:32:31.036
He walks over to a metal door and opens it, revealing a true monster.

01:32:31.036 --> 01:32:40.616
Someone who in real life is considered to be one of the most vile and death-worthy pieces of shit to ever walk the planet.

01:32:40.616 --> 01:32:46.736
Again, no joke here, just fact, because out walks Jared from Subway.

01:32:46.736 --> 01:32:48.536
Yeah, immediate jail forever.

01:32:48.536 --> 01:32:50.156
Jail for life, die in jail.

01:32:50.156 --> 01:33:04.856
If you are unaware of the horrific crimes committed by this genuine subhuman cum bucket of a man, then carefully Google him knowing you're about to read some truly terrible things that require more trigger warnings than this episode.

01:33:04.856 --> 01:33:06.556
That dude sucks.

01:33:06.556 --> 01:33:11.716
The police chief grabs scrambles and leaves you to take out the fuck trash that is Jared from Subway.

01:33:11.716 --> 01:33:13.496
Fuck trash?

01:33:13.496 --> 01:33:21.596
When he's defeated, you're actually given the chance to finish him off once and for all with a lethal dose of asshole air, courtesy of you.

01:33:21.596 --> 01:33:32.056
Your continued search for the chief leads you to the station's basement, where you find him and the remaining officers wearing brown cult-like robes, chanting words my skin tone does not allow me to say.

01:33:32.056 --> 01:33:32.996
Oh my god.

01:33:32.996 --> 01:33:37.376
Summoning their god, the Black Goat of the Woods.

01:33:37.376 --> 01:33:47.116
There's a stone pit in the center of the room, and the other cops are casually tossing black people into it, saying their sacrifice is the only way to summon their god.

01:33:47.116 --> 01:33:56.716
America is a country with freedom of religion, so they should have every right to practice their faith by sacrificing black people to one of the old gods.

01:33:57.576 --> 01:34:00.176
That's not racism, that's religion.

01:34:00.176 --> 01:34:02.616
This was all foretold by HP Lovecraft.

01:34:02.616 --> 01:34:06.736
What, are you going to say HP Lovecraft was racist too?

01:34:06.736 --> 01:34:12.116
Another cop comes and whispers in the chief's ear and he goes, oh, he was like, really racist?

01:34:12.136 --> 01:34:15.036
Yeah.

01:34:15.036 --> 01:34:19.216
While this happens, a voice shouts out from the lineup of sacrifices.

01:34:19.216 --> 01:34:23.956
It's classy, and she begs you to save her before she gets thrown into the pit.

01:34:23.956 --> 01:34:29.016
They try shoving her into the hole, but she grabs one of the cops and pulls him down with her.

01:34:29.016 --> 01:34:34.556
The cop goes into the pit while she lands on the ground next to it, so she gets up and runs the fuck out of there.

01:34:34.556 --> 01:34:40.936
The chief says that the All-Mother hates white meat, and the creature from the pit rises to attack.

01:34:40.936 --> 01:34:48.496
The goal of this fight being to feed as many cops as possible to the monster, which you do freeing the potential sacrifices and retrieving scrambles.

01:34:48.796 --> 01:34:49.836
Good.

01:34:49.836 --> 01:34:57.416
You stand with Coon and Friends to celebrate the victory, finally able to launch their film franchise thanks to the $100 reward.

01:34:57.416 --> 01:34:59.796
Freedom Pals are confused, and Dr.

01:34:59.796 --> 01:35:04.316
Timothy arrives to explain that the New Kid deceived them all.

01:35:04.316 --> 01:35:07.456
This was your plan all along in a ruse to retrieve the cat.

01:35:08.496 --> 01:35:15.756
Fastpass goes, Yeah, so suck it, Freedom Pussies, which makes the Coon double over with laughter.

01:35:15.756 --> 01:35:19.716
The Freedom Pals say they're going to fuck you up for tricking them like that.

01:35:19.716 --> 01:35:20.156
Then Dr.

01:35:20.156 --> 01:35:23.176
Timothy says, No, not you.

01:35:23.176 --> 01:35:25.136
Let them do it.

01:35:25.136 --> 01:35:29.836
Looking around, you see Coon and Friends all grasp at their heads.

01:35:29.836 --> 01:35:35.836
Then Human Kite looks at you and says, It's time to die as they all attack you four on one.

01:35:36.356 --> 01:35:42.736
But don't worry, Call Girl and Professor Chaos come in from out of nowhere to help you as they don't belong to either franchise.

01:35:42.736 --> 01:35:44.516
Yeah.

01:35:44.516 --> 01:35:48.116
With their help, you fight back against your own team.

01:35:48.116 --> 01:35:54.676
After they regain control of their own minds, they help you physically dominate the disabled kid in a wheelchair.

01:35:54.676 --> 01:35:56.396
Jesus Christ.

01:35:56.396 --> 01:35:58.896
Mysterion rages at you saying, Dr.

01:35:58.896 --> 01:36:03.296
Timothy was working on a plan to help everyone, even Coon and Friends.

01:36:03.296 --> 01:36:05.356
But now he can barely say his own name.

01:36:05.476 --> 01:36:08.496
He's so badly beaten and bloody.

01:36:08.496 --> 01:36:15.816
Freedom Pals invite you back to their base, making all the members of Coon and Friends comment on how much cooler it is than theirs.

01:36:15.816 --> 01:36:16.556
They reveal Dr.

01:36:16.556 --> 01:36:18.676
Timothy's top secret plan.

01:36:18.676 --> 01:36:33.236
A curtain pulls back to reveal a blackboard with an elaborate set of diagrams depicting phases 1-3 of a combined cinematic universe, with every hero receiving equal screen time across movies and TV shows.

01:36:34.556 --> 01:36:38.296
Human Kite says that this all started as one big team anyway.

01:36:38.296 --> 01:36:46.596
They're stronger together than they are divided, and offers to combine the two teams into one, saying they can all split the $100 reward.

01:36:46.596 --> 01:36:50.596
Everyone cheers at the idea, except the Coon.

01:36:50.596 --> 01:36:55.136
He asks, so, like, what's our group going to be called?

01:36:55.136 --> 01:36:56.816
Freedom Pals?

01:36:56.816 --> 01:36:59.036
Everyone says that's the plan.

01:36:59.036 --> 01:37:01.356
To which he asks, does that mean since Dr.

01:37:01.356 --> 01:37:03.056
Timothy is in charge of Freedom Pals?

01:37:03.656 --> 01:37:05.616
That he'll remain in charge?

01:37:05.616 --> 01:37:08.176
Which Mysterion confirms.

01:37:08.176 --> 01:37:12.856
The Coon goes, great, that's actually a way better name than Coon and Friends, anyway.

01:37:12.856 --> 01:37:14.036
I'm totally cool with this, 100%.

01:37:15.936 --> 01:37:17.836
Toolshed says, that's settled, then.

01:37:17.836 --> 01:37:20.876
Putting his hand out, gesturing for everyone to join.

01:37:20.876 --> 01:37:24.696
They all gather in a circle, extending their own hands in its center.

01:37:24.696 --> 01:37:27.216
Toolshed shouts, retribution.

01:37:27.216 --> 01:37:29.616
The others respond, but with inclusion.

01:37:30.596 --> 01:37:33.576
As they all break off and go home for the night.

01:37:33.576 --> 01:37:35.096
That's cute.

01:37:35.096 --> 01:37:43.596
The next morning, you wake up and head downstairs to find your kitchen absolutely covered from floor to ceiling in blood.

01:37:43.596 --> 01:37:50.476
Looking around, you find trails of red so you follow, but you can't find any sign of your parents anywhere.

01:37:50.476 --> 01:37:56.756
Walking through the living room, you get distracted by Good Morning South Park as it begins airing.

01:37:56.756 --> 01:38:01.716
They report the attack on the police station, saying the farting vigilante and his friends were responsible.

01:38:01.716 --> 01:38:09.536
This has prompted a new front runner in the mayoral race, as Mitch Conner has capitalized on the spike in crime to highlight the current mayor's failings.

01:38:09.536 --> 01:38:10.736
Son of a bitch.

01:38:10.736 --> 01:38:14.876
They cut to City Hall, where Mitch is having a press conference.

01:38:14.876 --> 01:38:22.036
Cartman's Fist can be seen speaking at a podium, calling you a terrorist and promising to end crime in South Park.

01:38:22.036 --> 01:38:26.956
Mysterion calls an emergency meeting right after school lets out, and you head to the Freedom Pals home base.

01:38:28.056 --> 01:38:30.456
When you get there, everyone is staring at Dr.

01:38:30.456 --> 01:38:35.836
Timothy's master plan, which has been torn to shreds by some unknown person.

01:38:35.836 --> 01:38:40.776
The doctor is inconsolable as he looks at the destruction of his life's work.

01:38:40.776 --> 01:38:45.356
As you all stare in disbelief, a video message arrives on the computer.

01:38:45.356 --> 01:38:52.176
Opening the file, you find a video showing your parents tied up to chairs in a basement.

01:38:52.176 --> 01:38:55.456
Mitch Conner pops into view laughing, saying he's kidnapped them.

01:38:56.716 --> 01:39:02.416
The Coon is the maddest of everyone here, constantly talking about how much of a threat Mitch Conner is.

01:39:02.416 --> 01:39:07.856
The video ends and Human Kite assaults the Coon, saying he's gone too far this time, fat ass.

01:39:07.856 --> 01:39:10.396
Where are the New Kid's parents?

01:39:10.396 --> 01:39:11.536
He says he doesn't know.

01:39:11.536 --> 01:39:13.496
Mitch Conner took them.

01:39:13.496 --> 01:39:18.576
Everyone swarms the Coon, but he escapes, running out of the house as everyone chases after him.

01:39:18.576 --> 01:39:20.536
It's the most agile Cartman's ever been.

01:39:20.536 --> 01:39:21.756
You're right.

01:39:23.756 --> 01:39:25.176
Outside, you get a call from Mitch.

01:39:25.976 --> 01:39:33.536
He leads you on a quest chain taking you all over town and forcing you to face every enemy you've encountered thus far on your journey.

01:39:33.536 --> 01:39:39.196
The town is descending into madness as even the coffee is being spiked with cheese now.

01:39:39.196 --> 01:39:44.556
You eventually regroup with the others at the community center, saying they tracked Mitch to this location.

01:39:44.556 --> 01:39:51.256
You go inside and find the Coon standing on a stage, holding a microphone up to his left hand, Mitch Conner himself.

01:39:52.876 --> 01:39:57.156
The Coon warns you that he's too powerful, having stolen The New Kid's social media followers.

01:39:57.156 --> 01:40:01.336
And now, he's going to win the election in a landslide.

01:40:01.336 --> 01:40:08.476
Human Kite steps forward saying, fine, if you want us to kill Mitch Conner, then we'll fucking kill him.

01:40:08.476 --> 01:40:12.396
Sending you into a boss battle with Cartman's left fist.

01:40:12.396 --> 01:40:14.036
And just his left fist, right?

01:40:14.036 --> 01:40:17.436
Just his left fist, he's just along for the ride.

01:40:17.436 --> 01:40:18.416
That's so great.

01:40:18.916 --> 01:40:25.496
You managed to defeat the sentient fist for now, and the Coon is mad at you because you never got any answers out of him.

01:40:25.496 --> 01:40:30.076
Human Kite and Tool Shed both agree that torturing the Coon is the only option left.

01:40:30.076 --> 01:40:30.516
Yeah.

01:40:30.516 --> 01:40:33.516
Since he still won't say where your parents are.

01:40:33.516 --> 01:40:42.856
After a few rounds of fart and toot and torture, the Coon mentions that Mitch Conner had some kind of plan to genetically alter the cats in South Park.

01:40:42.856 --> 01:40:47.356
There's only one person in all of South Park who has the technology and know-how to do that.

01:40:48.536 --> 01:40:49.276
Dr.

01:40:49.276 --> 01:41:01.636
Mephisto, another rare denizen dating back to the first season, who was modeled after Marlon Brando's character in the monumental flop film from 1996 called The Island of Dr.

01:41:01.636 --> 01:41:02.876
Moreau.

01:41:02.876 --> 01:41:06.676
A timely reference when South Park premiered in 1997.

01:41:06.676 --> 01:41:08.416
Now just some weird man.

01:41:08.416 --> 01:41:10.556
Twenty some years later, very outdated.

01:41:10.556 --> 01:41:11.776
Yeah.

01:41:11.776 --> 01:41:15.236
You all arrive to Mephisto's lab and ring the doorbell.

01:41:15.236 --> 01:41:16.776
He tells you to come back after nightfall.

01:41:17.116 --> 01:41:19.536
It'll be spookier then.

01:41:19.536 --> 01:41:21.296
Well, it's more cinematic, so.

01:41:21.296 --> 01:41:25.376
Toolshed looks at his watch and says, that's not for another six hours.

01:41:25.376 --> 01:41:29.576
And everyone kind of looks at each other wondering what the fuck they're supposed to do till then.

01:41:29.576 --> 01:41:37.976
This gives you a vision from More God Freeman, who teaches you how to produce a fart that allows you to travel forward in time.

01:41:37.976 --> 01:41:39.496
He earns a freckle for this.

01:41:39.496 --> 01:41:43.556
With a mighty Foof, you turn day into night around you.

01:41:43.556 --> 01:41:48.596
With all your super friends going, holy fucking shit, dude, what did you just do?

01:41:48.596 --> 01:41:53.656
Since the sun has now set, you are able to head into the much spookier genetic engineering lab.

01:41:53.656 --> 01:41:55.076
Yay.

01:41:55.076 --> 01:42:01.596
Inside, it looks like something out of Death Stranding, with scientists running around long hallways made of metal.

01:42:01.596 --> 01:42:06.576
Floating in a glass tube in the center of the room is a horse with four asses.

01:42:07.056 --> 01:42:08.116
Oh, no.

01:42:08.116 --> 01:42:10.176
Four asses being a specialty of Dr.

01:42:10.176 --> 01:42:11.176
Mephisto's.

01:42:12.596 --> 01:42:17.696
He's like, I'm something of a scientist myself, and this is my favorite thing to do.

01:42:17.696 --> 01:42:18.976
It's the only thing he does.

01:42:20.296 --> 01:42:23.316
Guy with eight butt cheeks sounds terrifying.

01:42:25.116 --> 01:42:30.956
He offers you a tour of the facility and directs you to a tram, asking if you've ever played a game called Half-Life before.

01:42:30.956 --> 01:42:31.656
Does he really?

01:42:31.656 --> 01:42:32.316
He really does.

01:42:32.636 --> 01:42:33.616
Fuck off!

01:42:33.616 --> 01:42:35.176
No!

01:42:35.176 --> 01:42:45.856
The tour itself is reminiscent of the Disney World ride Living with the Land, as you see all sorts of fruits and vegetables being grown, all genetically modified to have four asses as well.

01:42:48.236 --> 01:42:51.396
Such a round number, four asses.

01:42:51.396 --> 01:42:59.316
Anytime anyone asks what the purpose of doing that is, he gets defensive, saying all you naysayers are alike and just stand in the way of progress.

01:43:01.196 --> 01:43:07.836
This is all in an effort to help Mephisto's long dead son, a former classmate named Terrence.

01:43:07.836 --> 01:43:12.796
He died in season one after a confrontation with Barbra Streisand.

01:43:12.796 --> 01:43:17.316
Mysterion hears this and goes, ooh, I think that was us under his breath.

01:43:18.956 --> 01:43:21.296
Let's not say anything, but I think we fucked that one up.

01:43:21.296 --> 01:43:22.436
Yeah, it was definitely us.

01:43:22.436 --> 01:43:23.076
Oh shit.

01:43:23.716 --> 01:43:28.896
Call Girl asks what good resurrecting his son will be, and he says he's not trying to resurrect him.

01:43:28.896 --> 01:43:32.356
He's trying to give him four asses so he can rest in peace finally.

01:43:32.356 --> 01:43:33.836
Finally.

01:43:33.836 --> 01:43:36.776
The final stop is the defect room.

01:43:36.776 --> 01:43:43.056
His wealthy benefactor asked him to genetically modify sixth grade boys to be stronger, meaner, and angrier.

01:43:43.056 --> 01:43:46.796
No one ever needed that from that group of people.

01:43:46.796 --> 01:43:47.956
Fuck off.

01:43:47.956 --> 01:43:51.276
Super Craig asks why anyone would want to fucking do that.

01:43:51.276 --> 01:43:51.916
Thank you, Craig.

01:43:52.636 --> 01:43:56.136
Mephisto says it's to protect the army of mutated cats he was paid to create.

01:43:56.136 --> 01:43:57.256
God damn it.

01:43:57.256 --> 01:44:02.816
In the next room, you find a bunch of cats, each with four asses.

01:44:02.816 --> 01:44:03.936
Naturally.

01:44:03.936 --> 01:44:08.816
Producing four times the amount of cheese as a normal cat.

01:44:08.816 --> 01:44:13.236
The only side effect being they have all become extraordinarily aggressive.

01:44:13.236 --> 01:44:13.796
No way.

01:44:13.796 --> 01:44:19.156
I mean, if I had a bunch of extra butts, I wouldn't be nice about it.

01:44:19.156 --> 01:44:23.936
At that, the power shuts off unlocking the cages.

01:44:23.936 --> 01:44:32.216
Over the PA, Mitch Conner's voice lets out an evil laugh, telling you this is the end of Freedom Pals.

01:44:32.216 --> 01:44:36.356
You fight the cats first and then begin fighting your way through the facility to escape.

01:44:37.916 --> 01:44:44.656
The modified sixth graders have all broken free as well, and they're wreaking havoc on the lab, killing everyone in a white lab coat.

01:44:44.656 --> 01:44:46.896
Just like in that game Half-Life.

01:44:46.896 --> 01:44:49.676
You find Mitch Conner, who has the Coon tied up to a chair.

01:44:50.736 --> 01:44:55.876
Coon tries to warn you, but Mitch Conner punches him in the face telling the Coon to shut up.

01:44:55.876 --> 01:45:00.376
Mitch reveals his master plan on a whiteboard for why he's actually running for mayor.

01:45:00.376 --> 01:45:03.656
He wants to make every day Christmas.

01:45:03.656 --> 01:45:08.436
Human Kite tells you to secretly snap a picture of the whiteboard as evidence, so you do.

01:45:08.436 --> 01:45:13.856
With a laugh, Mitch and the Coon descend on a secret trapdoor platform, escaping.

01:45:13.856 --> 01:45:16.856
As you continue trying to escape, you find your parents.

01:45:18.236 --> 01:45:23.196
Dad is strapped to a chair and tells you to go into the next room to help your mother.

01:45:23.196 --> 01:45:32.256
She's on the ground, legs shattered, her arm a bloody mess, and she begs you to go into town to find help.

01:45:32.256 --> 01:45:40.476
But first, you need to stop Mitch from getting your father's DNA, telling you to go in the other room and cut your father's head off.

01:45:40.476 --> 01:45:41.436
Oh shit.

01:45:41.436 --> 01:45:43.596
He screams back, I heard that bitch.

01:45:43.596 --> 01:45:45.196
They are so fucking toxic.

01:45:45.756 --> 01:45:57.556
Your dad explains that he tried to warn her that if anyone ever found out about you and your powers, someone would come along and try to steal their DNA in order to create a clone to use as a weapon.

01:45:57.556 --> 01:45:59.816
Why should he have to die for pointing that out?

01:46:00.856 --> 01:46:05.636
She's the one who should die since she never fucking listens to anything ever.

01:46:05.636 --> 01:46:07.956
You guys should just break up.

01:46:07.956 --> 01:46:12.356
You won't be able to move forward until one of them dies, because the game says so.

01:46:12.356 --> 01:46:15.996
I've played this a few times, I think every single time I killed dad.

01:46:17.376 --> 01:46:22.156
Well, it forces you to choose via the most brutal allegory for a child of divorce ever.

01:46:22.156 --> 01:46:23.216
Oh?

01:46:23.216 --> 01:46:26.996
Kill mom or dad, which you genuinely have to do.

01:46:26.996 --> 01:46:33.156
In the next room, Mephisto is waiting with the others in the tram, saying you should have just waited and gone with them.

01:46:33.156 --> 01:46:34.696
Oh well, no harm, no foul.

01:46:34.696 --> 01:46:37.076
Jesus Christ.

01:46:37.076 --> 01:46:40.856
Just watched one of my parents die at my decision.

01:46:40.856 --> 01:46:42.576
But yeah, man, it's fine.

01:46:42.676 --> 01:46:43.536
No harm.

01:46:43.536 --> 01:46:44.796
Some harm.

01:46:46.156 --> 01:46:50.776
Back in the living with the land area, you find the Coon and Mitch Connor.

01:46:50.776 --> 01:46:56.976
Mitch explains that his plan was to clone the strongest member of Coon and Friends to create the ultimate villain.

01:46:56.976 --> 01:47:02.896
Coon argues that's the laziest fucking move ever to just create the exact same character as the bad guy.

01:47:02.896 --> 01:47:07.036
Mitch says it's the perfect idea, and has yet to fail at the box office.

01:47:07.036 --> 01:47:07.976
That's true.

01:47:07.976 --> 01:47:09.516
But it doesn't matter.

01:47:09.516 --> 01:47:15.756
He wasn't able to extract your DNA, so he had to clone a different superhero entirely.

01:47:15.756 --> 01:47:19.576
From behind him, a dark mass emerges.

01:47:19.576 --> 01:47:30.276
Towering over all of you at 50 feet tall, weighing in at over three tons, is the Human Kite 2 2.

01:47:30.276 --> 01:47:33.656
Not 22, just the second of the two.

01:47:35.156 --> 01:47:49.476
After an epic battle against the Behemoth, Mephisto thanks you for attending the genetic Engineering Lab Tour, and lets you know the exit is through the gift shop where you can pick up all sorts of fun knickknacks, as well as photos of you fighting that terrifying mutant.

01:47:49.476 --> 01:47:51.956
Have a Tram-tastic day, and come back and see us again real soon.

01:47:51.956 --> 01:47:53.356
You gotta love it.

01:47:53.356 --> 01:48:00.916
Outside, everyone checks their phones, only to realize you didn't fast forward time a couple hours to make it nightfall.

01:48:00.916 --> 01:48:05.256
You fast forwarded time 10 fucking days.

01:48:05.256 --> 01:48:06.856
God damn it, you over farted.

01:48:07.276 --> 01:48:12.736
Mitch Conner won the election, and he's getting sworn into office in a couple hours.

01:48:12.736 --> 01:48:22.716
Again, Mitch Conner is just Cartman's left hand, but they really go out of their way to make him a rounded villain to the point you genuinely start to wonder if Cartman has any control over him.

01:48:22.716 --> 01:48:25.536
I thought you were going to say that they made him such a good villain.

01:48:25.536 --> 01:48:27.636
He's now running for political office.

01:48:27.636 --> 01:48:28.336
Oh, he won.

01:48:28.336 --> 01:48:28.616
Yeah.

01:48:28.616 --> 01:48:29.956
Yeah.

01:48:29.956 --> 01:48:31.096
True villainy.

01:48:31.096 --> 01:48:35.736
At the mayoral office, Mitch has barricaded the building and taunts you from a window.

01:48:35.736 --> 01:48:36.356
Oh shit.

01:48:36.736 --> 01:48:38.836
The Freedom Pals can't believe it.

01:48:38.836 --> 01:48:40.456
He really won.

01:48:40.456 --> 01:48:43.956
They can't get past the barricade, and it's entirely your fault.

01:48:43.956 --> 01:48:45.936
Your fart is what brought them all here.

01:48:45.936 --> 01:48:48.696
It's the reason Mitch won.

01:48:48.696 --> 01:48:52.916
Defeated, Toolshed says that there's nobody left who can help.

01:48:52.916 --> 01:48:57.816
Your phone rings, and Morgan Freeman is on the line.

01:48:57.816 --> 01:49:03.116
He said he sensed a shift in the fart space continuum and assumes it must have been you.

01:49:03.116 --> 01:49:04.936
Morgan Freeman tells you to come to the taco shop.

01:49:05.456 --> 01:49:07.216
He has a plan.

01:49:07.216 --> 01:49:12.196
He hands you a seven-layer quesarito chipotle beefy nacho supreme burrito.

01:49:12.196 --> 01:49:19.296
The fart this burrito will produce is so powerful, it will rip a hole in the fabric of time itself.

01:49:19.296 --> 01:49:21.376
This is exactly like Life is Strange.

01:49:21.376 --> 01:49:27.876
But it's a one-way ticket, so treat this as your point of no return before you scarf it down.

01:49:27.896 --> 01:49:34.156
Once you're ready, you eat the burrito, bend over, and loudly tear ass in the middle of the restaurant.

01:49:35.276 --> 01:49:42.016
As you are sucked into a time portal, Morgan Freeman yells, Oh no, you didn't believe in yourself enough.

01:49:42.016 --> 01:49:46.296
As everyone around you vanishes, and you awaken in an empty taco shop.

01:49:46.296 --> 01:49:48.116
Oh god damn it.

01:49:48.116 --> 01:49:53.656
You step outside to find yourself in the middle of a winter blunderland.

01:49:53.656 --> 01:50:00.996
Ship faced adults wandering a Christmas-themed town, complete with a Mitch Conner-themed roller coaster in the distance.

01:50:00.996 --> 01:50:04.496
The only friends you find are Toolshed, Human Kite, and Mysterion.

01:50:04.496 --> 01:50:08.936
They say you've taken them even further in time, which is worse.

01:50:08.936 --> 01:50:13.436
So they beg you, please take them back to the past.

01:50:13.436 --> 01:50:17.576
You try, but can't get more than a little squeak to come out of you.

01:50:17.576 --> 01:50:23.096
Toolshed says, it appears you have a fractured but whole.

01:50:23.096 --> 01:50:25.176
That's the name of the game.

01:50:26.596 --> 01:50:34.396
They need to get you to a doctor quickly, so you can get your ass fixed, warning you that South Park is at its worst on Christmas, and to be careful.

01:50:34.396 --> 01:50:37.676
You know, South Park just can't handle a snow day.

01:50:37.676 --> 01:50:39.356
Out on the street, you run into Mr.

01:50:39.356 --> 01:50:42.236
Mackie, who is on his thirteenth martini.

01:50:42.236 --> 01:50:46.776
Just as he's telling you it's okay to have a drink or two on the holidays, mkay?

01:50:46.776 --> 01:50:47.936
His head explodes.

01:50:47.936 --> 01:50:48.916
Oh no!

01:50:48.916 --> 01:50:51.656
The townsfolk run in every direction screaming, It's them!

01:50:51.656 --> 01:50:52.996
It's them!

01:50:52.996 --> 01:50:56.536
You turn around to see a group of twelve happy little woodland creatures.

01:50:56.536 --> 01:50:57.156
Oh shit!

01:50:58.116 --> 01:51:02.036
Hands down, the most evil fictional characters in all of South Park lore.

01:51:02.036 --> 01:51:03.176
Period.

01:51:03.176 --> 01:51:06.416
They would love to spread the word of Satan far and wide.

01:51:06.436 --> 01:51:11.396
Using your blood as the ink, then they'll pour all your innards out and have a blood orgy on top of them.

01:51:11.396 --> 01:51:12.436
Yay, blood orgy.

01:51:12.436 --> 01:51:14.216
Blood orgy!

01:51:14.216 --> 01:51:17.736
Well, there's only one person who is 0 and 1 against Satan.

01:51:17.736 --> 01:51:21.116
The reason for the season himself, Jesus H.

01:51:21.116 --> 01:51:21.816
Christ.

01:51:21.816 --> 01:51:24.376
Jesus Christ, this is where it all started.

01:51:24.376 --> 01:51:33.316
Taking a cue from one of Trey Parker's all-time favorite games, Earthbound, you have to pray to Jesus during the fight to get him to come and help you against the woodland creatures.

01:51:33.316 --> 01:51:35.016
Fuzzy pickles.

01:51:35.016 --> 01:51:36.916
But you fuck it up once more.

01:51:36.916 --> 01:51:43.096
And instead of Jesus, you call upon the only person who is 0 and 1 against Jesus.

01:51:43.096 --> 01:51:50.136
A man in a big red suit with a long white beard crashes down from the sky, bruised and bloody from the wreck.

01:51:50.136 --> 01:51:59.096
He pulls a baseball bat from a giant sack saying, OK, now who called upon me bringing me crashing down here, killing my reindeer in the process?

01:51:59.096 --> 01:51:59.996
Santa?

01:51:59.996 --> 01:52:02.276
I promised you I would give you more Santa Claus this season.

01:52:02.276 --> 01:52:03.216
Yay!

01:52:03.216 --> 01:52:03.976
It's Santa!

01:52:04.176 --> 01:52:05.336
This is what you wanted.

01:52:05.336 --> 01:52:06.856
I love Santa.

01:52:06.856 --> 01:52:11.236
Santa's dealt with these little woodland fucks before and starts swinging on them immediately.

01:52:11.236 --> 01:52:13.356
Shit yeah, he goes for the fucking nuts.

01:52:13.356 --> 01:52:15.196
Let's go Santa Claus.

01:52:15.196 --> 01:52:18.816
You defeat the last of them by smashing the little baby deer's brains in.

01:52:18.816 --> 01:52:21.296
And Santa asks just what the hell is going on here.

01:52:21.536 --> 01:52:21.996
Get it St.

01:52:21.996 --> 01:52:23.516
Trickles, let's go.

01:52:23.516 --> 01:52:32.156
Human Kite explains the whole Fractured But Whole situation, and Santa tells you he'll cover you while you head to the abortion clinic to find a doctor to fix your ass problems.

01:52:32.156 --> 01:52:36.856
He's the only doctor in town who has experience dealing with your asshole after all.

01:52:36.856 --> 01:52:39.476
For more on that, check out our episode that covers the first game.

01:52:39.476 --> 01:52:41.596
Or just live your life.

01:52:41.596 --> 01:52:44.616
The abortion clinic is really busy today, it being Christmas and all.

01:52:48.356 --> 01:52:50.176
That caught me, my bad.

01:52:51.816 --> 01:52:54.176
You know, it's peak season.

01:52:55.316 --> 01:53:02.456
But you promised that if the doctor could see you right away, you can stop the mayor from ever turning South Park into the shithole it is today.

01:53:02.456 --> 01:53:07.616
Everyone in the abortion clinic fucking hates Mayor Connor, and they agreed to let you skip the line.

01:53:07.616 --> 01:53:12.536
Wine glass in hand, the doctor fixes up your butthole, allowing you to fart through time once again.

01:53:13.736 --> 01:53:17.676
You vanish from the clinic and the screen goes black.

01:53:17.676 --> 01:53:27.836
The screen returns to you, The New Kid, wearing a crown along with a long red cape, sitting on your throne of porcelain, taking a shit.

01:53:27.836 --> 01:53:35.036
Suddenly, another you appears, this one being the version you are currently playing, as it's wearing whatever you've selected.

01:53:35.036 --> 01:53:39.876
You follow closely behind your king self, as he heads out to play fantasy with Kyle and Butters.

01:53:40.816 --> 01:53:47.416
They see future you behind king you and make fun of you, saying, we're not playing superheroes, dumbass.

01:53:47.416 --> 01:53:48.576
Weirdo.

01:53:48.576 --> 01:53:53.876
Outside, you find the other super versions of your friends, as they all time traveled too.

01:53:53.876 --> 01:53:57.356
But your group also runs into yourselves from the past.

01:53:57.356 --> 01:54:08.396
Kyle reminds you all that today is fantasy day, not superhero day, setting off a fight with the character from the previous game, including yourself, which remember, was OP as fuck.

01:54:08.396 --> 01:54:09.056
That's so cool.

01:54:10.136 --> 01:54:15.456
After the fight, you all head straight to Cartman's house to stop him from setting all of these events into motion.

01:54:15.456 --> 01:54:20.296
He's in his room, dressed as a coon, about to enter his time travel closet.

01:54:20.296 --> 01:54:24.296
Seeing you all here, he asks why you're in superhero gear already.

01:54:24.296 --> 01:54:29.656
It was his idea to play superheroes, and he was just about to ask you guys to play too.

01:54:29.656 --> 01:54:35.016
Mysterion grabs the coon by the collar and demands to see his left hand.

01:54:35.016 --> 01:54:44.076
Slowly, Mitch Connor rises up into frame, saying, time travel, ain't it a bitch, freedom pals?

01:54:44.076 --> 01:54:47.976
The coon is scared, wondering just where the fuck Mitch Connor came from.

01:54:47.976 --> 01:54:50.316
He's supposed to be in jail.

01:54:50.316 --> 01:54:57.536
Mitch says he was, and he picked up a few tricks, like how to make someone fart by hitting them in the solar plexus.

01:54:57.536 --> 01:55:04.396
In a flash, Mitch headbutts you in the stomach, causing you to fart yourself and the coon far back in time.

01:55:04.636 --> 01:55:05.776
Oh, no.

01:55:05.776 --> 01:55:08.136
To your early childhood.

01:55:08.136 --> 01:55:11.076
The coon says he knows where you are now.

01:55:11.076 --> 01:55:13.936
It's the night of your tragic backstory.

01:55:15.236 --> 01:55:18.896
The night you caught your dad fucking your mom.

01:55:18.896 --> 01:55:20.496
Also, there were aliens.

01:55:20.496 --> 01:55:21.836
Yeah, they kind of ignore that part.

01:55:21.836 --> 01:55:23.116
Okay.

01:55:23.116 --> 01:55:24.036
The aliens are gone now.

01:55:24.036 --> 01:55:24.896
Okay.

01:55:24.896 --> 01:55:31.036
The three of you follow your younger self out into the hallway, where the burglars are squaring off against a child.

01:55:31.036 --> 01:55:32.736
The coon tells you this is your moment of choice.

01:55:33.656 --> 01:55:44.276
Help the child defeat the criminals or defeat the child and prevent him from ever walking into his parents' room, sparing him a life of torment.

01:55:44.276 --> 01:55:47.216
The burglar is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, criminals?

01:55:47.216 --> 01:55:50.516
We just wanted to ask this kid how to help us gain more followers online.

01:55:50.516 --> 01:55:53.156
He has a talent for making friends.

01:55:53.156 --> 01:55:55.376
We're here to clout farm, buddy.

01:55:55.376 --> 01:55:59.576
So you pull out your phone and take a selfie with the intruders and the younger you.

01:55:59.576 --> 01:56:01.316
But now, for the moment of truth.

01:56:02.576 --> 01:56:05.336
You stand outside the door to your parents' room.

01:56:05.336 --> 01:56:09.076
Taking a deep breath, you open the door.

01:56:09.076 --> 01:56:14.416
Inside, you find your mom and dad, fully clothed, sitting on the bed.

01:56:14.416 --> 01:56:15.456
Thank God.

01:56:15.456 --> 01:56:20.196
Mom with a bottle of wine in her hand, dad with a joint in his.

01:56:20.196 --> 01:56:22.916
The Coon rejoices, saying, you did it.

01:56:22.916 --> 01:56:24.736
You prevented your tragic backstory.

01:56:26.156 --> 01:56:31.836
Mitch Conner laughs, saying that without your tragic backstory, you can't become a hero.

01:56:31.836 --> 01:56:39.376
Which means you never develop your fart powers, making you stuck here in the past forever.

01:56:39.376 --> 01:56:44.076
Letting out an evil laugh, Mitch vanishes from Coon's hand.

01:56:44.076 --> 01:56:46.456
Your parents ask, who the fuck are you?

01:56:46.456 --> 01:56:49.976
And Coon explains that you're their son from the future.

01:56:49.976 --> 01:56:52.976
They're like, yeah, that makes sense.

01:56:52.976 --> 01:56:54.536
Well, they're both a little buzzed, you know.

01:56:55.536 --> 01:56:57.796
They're like, yep, this is just what happens to us now.

01:56:57.796 --> 01:57:00.356
He's probably here for answers.

01:57:00.356 --> 01:57:08.256
So finally, after all they're fighting, they sit you down and tell you your true tragic backstory.

01:57:08.256 --> 01:57:09.216
Oh.

01:57:09.216 --> 01:57:13.036
Mom and dad both have superpowers of their own.

01:57:13.036 --> 01:57:19.136
Dad created a Facebook profile one day, and within a couple hours, he had over three million followers.

01:57:19.136 --> 01:57:21.656
You know he was posting like ass pictures or something.

01:57:23.016 --> 01:57:29.556
Mom is the same, except her power worked on Instagram, with her first photo garnering over four million followers.

01:57:29.556 --> 01:57:30.736
Sheesh.

01:57:30.736 --> 01:57:35.736
It wasn't long before the government kidnapped each of them to find out where their power came from.

01:57:35.736 --> 01:57:44.396
It was in that cold, dank, dark research lab that they first met, falling in love as they were tortured and experimented on by big bad military guys.

01:57:45.656 --> 01:57:50.956
They knew you too would possess these same powers, amassing over 10 million followers on the day of your birth.

01:57:52.156 --> 01:57:54.536
They really said family fucking channel.

01:57:54.536 --> 01:57:57.156
Right.

01:57:57.156 --> 01:58:09.076
As soon as they could, they took you and ran and have been hiding out ever since, trying to remain one step ahead of the government as they hunt you down, ultimately leading them to South Park.

01:58:09.076 --> 01:58:14.236
Every town they've moved to, you immediately started making friends and gaining followers online.

01:58:14.236 --> 01:58:17.316
So they've been putting drugs in your food in an attempt to dampen your powers.

01:58:18.276 --> 01:58:20.976
But all it did was give you really stinky farts.

01:58:22.476 --> 01:58:26.016
Thank god that was the only side effect though.

01:58:26.016 --> 01:58:30.456
Having exposed you to the truth, mom and dad are relieved of their burden.

01:58:30.456 --> 01:58:39.936
They no longer feel the need to drink or get high, with dad saying he believes in them as a couple, and tells mom he loves her and can't wait for their future together.

01:58:39.936 --> 01:58:51.596
With your parents Marty McFly back together, you celebrate with a reality-splintering fart, sending you and the Coon hurtling forward through time, landing just outside of a crowd of people.

01:58:51.596 --> 01:59:00.336
Randy Marsh is on a stage, clutching a beer, declaring that in just a few moments, Mitch Conner will be sworn in as mayor.

01:59:00.336 --> 01:59:02.036
The Coon says there's still time.

01:59:02.036 --> 01:59:05.236
You can stop Mitch from getting sworn in if you hurry.

01:59:05.236 --> 01:59:09.276
The rest of the Freedom Pals are there too, and they're ready to kick some ass and save the day.

01:59:09.276 --> 01:59:10.076
Shit yeah.

01:59:10.076 --> 01:59:13.136
Only their target is the Coon himself.

01:59:13.136 --> 01:59:13.336
Yeah.

01:59:14.256 --> 01:59:17.016
Human Kite tells him he needs to knock it the fuck off.

01:59:17.016 --> 01:59:21.456
He is Mitch Conner, and all of this is him being an asshole.

01:59:21.456 --> 01:59:25.696
The Coon swears Mitch is a completely different person, and he has no control over him.

01:59:25.696 --> 01:59:28.256
Human Kite's bullshit.

01:59:28.256 --> 01:59:34.736
Then his own left hand lifts into the air of its own accord, forming a fist.

01:59:34.736 --> 01:59:39.696
Mitch Conner's face is there saying, then how do you explain this, Kyle?

01:59:39.696 --> 01:59:44.456
The Coon tells Human Kite this isn't funny, and Human Kite insists he's not doing anything.

01:59:44.456 --> 01:59:45.776
Oh shit.

01:59:45.776 --> 01:59:56.136
Coon immediately forgets everything he said a second ago and starts yelling at Kyle to knock it off and to stop trolling, that's Kyle's fucking hand, which means Kyle's the one doing it.

01:59:56.136 --> 02:00:00.516
Human Kite goes, ah, so you were faking it before.

02:00:00.516 --> 02:00:10.296
Coon stumbles over his words, but is interrupted by Mitch Conner saying, this was his plan all along, to sow discord and contempt among the Freedom Pals, causing them to crumble from the inside.

02:00:11.676 --> 02:00:14.916
Even Toolshit goes, dude, seriously, is this you, Kyle?

02:00:16.156 --> 02:00:21.116
Mysterion looks on and goes, I have no fucking clue what is happening right now.

02:00:21.116 --> 02:00:24.556
Mitch continues on with his villain rant, saying that he's done it.

02:00:24.556 --> 02:00:33.216
Nobody trusts anyone and after only a few choice words, now they have to decide, attack the Coon or attack Mitch Conner.

02:00:33.216 --> 02:00:39.196
The Coon says, fuck this and launches an attack on Mitch, with Human Kite nervously along for the ride against his will.

02:00:40.476 --> 02:00:47.396
Mid-fight, the Coon has his own Mitch Conner on his left hand as well, with Human Kite's calling him an imposter.

02:00:47.396 --> 02:00:48.736
Motherfucker.

02:00:48.736 --> 02:00:54.216
Coon's fist insists that he is the original and that the one on Human Kite's hand is a fake.

02:00:54.216 --> 02:00:57.116
Everyone watching is so confused that Dr.

02:00:57.116 --> 02:01:03.396
Timothy declares both Human Kite and the Coon as enemies, and commands the rest of The Freedom Pals to gang up on both.

02:01:03.756 --> 02:01:04.896
Yeah.

02:01:04.896 --> 02:01:08.576
Human Kite doesn't like it, but he understands.

02:01:08.576 --> 02:01:12.456
Coon doesn't like it and refuses to understand.

02:01:12.456 --> 02:01:13.996
Very in line.

02:01:13.996 --> 02:01:21.296
After a beating, the Coon and Human Kite argue over who is going to admit to faking the whole Mitch Conner thing first.

02:01:21.296 --> 02:01:24.856
Neither are conceding, so the Coon comes up with a compromise.

02:01:24.856 --> 02:01:29.776
On the count of three, both will say, I was just fucking with you.

02:01:31.096 --> 02:01:35.296
On three, Human Kite says it, but the Coon doesn't.

02:01:35.296 --> 02:01:36.256
Motherfucker.

02:01:36.256 --> 02:01:41.976
With the confession that Human Kite was making it all up, the Coon runs off to get Mitch sworn in as mayor.

02:01:41.976 --> 02:01:46.256
At the podium, his little fist awaits inauguration.

02:01:46.256 --> 02:01:51.696
Just as the justice begins to swear him in, Toolshed stops the ceremony.

02:01:51.696 --> 02:01:57.976
He gets on the mic and pulls Coon up by the ears, saying this asshole is just trying to get his movie franchise off the ground.

02:01:59.096 --> 02:02:03.816
Expose him, yes, this is why the marshes are the Kennedys of South Park, baby.

02:02:03.816 --> 02:02:04.136
Mr.

02:02:04.136 --> 02:02:08.536
Mackey from the crowd goes, is Mitch Conner riding a fat raccoon?

02:02:11.356 --> 02:02:13.336
Because he's still got his fucking face mask on and shit.

02:02:13.336 --> 02:02:15.016
He does, he's still dressed as a raccoon.

02:02:15.016 --> 02:02:16.976
He's fully raccooned out.

02:02:16.976 --> 02:02:22.996
During this distraction, Call Girl posts the planning sheet Mitch Conner had detailing his evil project 2025.

02:02:22.996 --> 02:02:24.636
Sorry, America.

02:02:26.436 --> 02:02:28.456
He just wants to make South Park great again.

02:02:28.456 --> 02:02:31.136
He wants to make America Christmas again.

02:02:32.416 --> 02:02:33.776
Sorry, I'm losing it.

02:02:33.776 --> 02:02:35.936
Fuck me.

02:02:35.956 --> 02:02:39.036
Oh, I want to be free of this housecape.

02:02:41.716 --> 02:02:48.576
Everyone gets an alert on their phone causing outrage as they discover they have all been lied to and poisoned by Mitch Conner.

02:02:49.636 --> 02:02:56.136
Stan Marsh asks why and Mitch begins to explain his tragic backstory.

02:02:56.136 --> 02:03:02.216
For you see, New Kid is not the only one who discovered their parent getting fucked.

02:03:02.216 --> 02:03:11.796
When Mitch was nine, he walked in to find his dad getting fucked, swearing to end the world just to run from the pain that night caused.

02:03:12.856 --> 02:03:18.276
Toolshed tells him to shut the fuck up, but Arando and the crowd goes, shh, I want to hear this.

02:03:18.276 --> 02:03:20.216
Let him cook, let him cook.

02:03:20.216 --> 02:03:26.376
Coon's right hand rises, and a woman's face is painted on to his right fist.

02:03:26.376 --> 02:03:30.776
It's Mitch's mom telling him it was her.

02:03:30.776 --> 02:03:35.136
She was the one who fucked his dad all those years ago.

02:03:35.136 --> 02:03:40.116
The two get into a literal fistfight as they both die.

02:03:40.116 --> 02:03:44.056
Someone's like, well, that was fucked up.

02:03:44.056 --> 02:03:48.836
Now let's go get some clean drugs from the next town over and forget about all this.

02:03:48.836 --> 02:03:57.916
With a resounding cheer, the crowd disperses to find a better, cleaner high, giving Randy Marsh an idea that would change his life and character forever.

02:03:57.916 --> 02:03:59.356
Fuck yeah.

02:03:59.356 --> 02:04:02.856
Back home, both of your parents are alive and well.

02:04:02.856 --> 02:04:07.776
Sitting on the couch, being cute as hell with each other, head over heels in love.

02:04:07.776 --> 02:04:14.056
Saying that ever since they came clean to you all those years ago, something has felt different for some reason.

02:04:14.056 --> 02:04:14.656
Right even.

02:04:16.096 --> 02:04:20.156
They head upstairs to their room to declare their love for one another on a more physical level.

02:04:20.156 --> 02:04:21.116
Oh, like on a hit.

02:04:21.116 --> 02:04:24.036
Letting you know there's dinner on the table.

02:04:24.036 --> 02:04:27.496
Standing outside their bedroom, you hear the sounds of them fucking.

02:04:27.496 --> 02:04:29.016
Like romantically.

02:04:29.016 --> 02:04:35.576
You hear a laugh come from behind you in a voice saying, did you really think you could stop bad things from happening?

02:04:35.576 --> 02:04:41.176
Panning over, Professor Chaos is revealed to be in your house standing next to you.

02:04:41.176 --> 02:04:49.296
He tells you that no matter how hard you try to change the past, your dad will always fuck your mom.

02:04:49.296 --> 02:04:50.676
Wait, that's actually romantic.

02:04:50.676 --> 02:04:53.476
He doesn't realize it, but that's on commitment.

02:04:53.476 --> 02:04:58.476
So why not lean into your chaotic side for a change?

02:04:58.476 --> 02:05:03.216
With another evil laugh, the screen goes black and the credits roll.

02:05:03.216 --> 02:05:05.116
I need the third game.

02:05:05.116 --> 02:05:06.616
Come on.

02:05:06.616 --> 02:05:10.676
Well, yeah, that was the end and probably for good as we do not talk about Snow Day.

02:05:10.676 --> 02:05:10.836
No.

02:05:11.796 --> 02:05:17.816
Actually, we will be covering the DLC to this game on our Patreon, especially the one titled From Dusk Till Casa Bonita.

02:05:17.816 --> 02:05:18.556
Yeah.

02:05:18.556 --> 02:05:22.556
As Andrea and I have been there IRL prior to Trey and Matt purchasing it.

02:05:22.556 --> 02:05:23.556
It sucked.

02:05:23.556 --> 02:05:26.996
And we'll be talking about our experience as well as the DLC itself.

02:05:26.996 --> 02:05:29.496
Oh, I kind of spoiled that one a little.

02:05:31.516 --> 02:05:33.516
There's your preview.

02:05:33.516 --> 02:05:34.676
I have a knee jerk reaction.

02:05:34.676 --> 02:05:35.856
I'm sorry.

02:05:37.856 --> 02:05:40.876
So that was South Park, The Fractured But Whole.

02:05:40.876 --> 02:05:41.516
Thanks, Tom.

02:05:41.516 --> 02:05:42.336
That was a fun one.

02:05:42.416 --> 02:05:44.336
I was so happy to go back to South Park.

02:05:44.336 --> 02:05:48.916
I love South Park, as you know, and just this was such a fantastic fucking game.

02:05:48.916 --> 02:05:49.816
Oh, it really is.

02:05:49.816 --> 02:05:55.736
Now, I listened to the first episode that you did on this in preparation, because I haven't picked up these games in a long time.

02:05:55.736 --> 02:05:58.856
And both of the games blended a lot for me in my memory.

02:05:59.036 --> 02:06:04.176
Like I said, I haven't picked this up in years, but I was like, holy shit, we cover a lot of ground in these games.

02:06:04.176 --> 02:06:04.996
Really do, right?

02:06:04.996 --> 02:06:05.756
Yeah.

02:06:05.756 --> 02:06:07.196
So many different seasons.

02:06:07.196 --> 02:06:08.996
Who's your favorite superhero?

02:06:08.996 --> 02:06:10.176
My favorite of the superheroes?

02:06:10.176 --> 02:06:11.016
Yeah.

02:06:11.016 --> 02:06:12.556
I really like Captain Diabetes.

02:06:12.556 --> 02:06:13.656
Yeah.

02:06:13.656 --> 02:06:14.036
He's great.

02:06:14.036 --> 02:06:15.736
I love his super strength, all that stuff.

02:06:15.736 --> 02:06:17.476
He really risks it all.

02:06:17.476 --> 02:06:18.836
He did.

02:06:18.836 --> 02:06:20.956
Fastpass is also a great character to play with.

02:06:20.956 --> 02:06:21.496
Yeah.

02:06:21.496 --> 02:06:22.256
Yeah, totally.

02:06:22.256 --> 02:06:23.016
Fantastic.

02:06:23.016 --> 02:06:24.156
I love Call Girl.

02:06:24.156 --> 02:06:25.056
Call Girl's great.

02:06:25.056 --> 02:06:29.196
I do love her super move, the Phone Destroyer, because it's actually more of a take on Pokemon Go.

02:06:29.656 --> 02:06:30.996
Yeah.

02:06:30.996 --> 02:06:34.636
Were they all rushed with their phones looking for the Chin Pokemon?

02:06:34.636 --> 02:06:35.936
Yeah, it's a Chin Pokemon app.

02:06:35.936 --> 02:06:36.756
Go.

02:06:36.756 --> 02:06:37.876
Yeah, it's really well done.

02:06:38.036 --> 02:06:39.656
It hits for me.

02:06:39.656 --> 02:06:41.036
Imagine that.

02:06:42.176 --> 02:06:45.156
I just got level 48 on Pokemon Go like this week.

02:06:45.156 --> 02:06:47.016
I'm so fucking unreasonably proud.

02:06:47.016 --> 02:06:49.616
And if you don't play Pokemon Go, that's a huge achievement.

02:06:50.896 --> 02:06:53.896
And even if you do, you're like, you're still playing.

02:06:53.896 --> 02:06:55.176
I think most people think that.

02:06:55.176 --> 02:06:55.536
That's OK.

02:06:56.056 --> 02:07:00.956
Well, if you enjoyed that, Goombas, make sure you like us, you subscribe to us, you do all the different things.

02:07:00.956 --> 02:07:02.236
You can now comment on Spotify.

02:07:02.236 --> 02:07:02.956
I didn't know that.

02:07:02.956 --> 02:07:03.376
That's cool.

02:07:03.376 --> 02:07:05.916
And if you subscribe, you'll get another episode next Wednesday.

02:07:05.936 --> 02:07:09.076
Actually, even if you don't subscribe, there'll be another episode next Wednesday.

02:07:09.076 --> 02:07:10.496
Regardless.

02:07:10.496 --> 02:07:12.256
But if you subscribe, it will make it easier.

02:07:12.256 --> 02:07:12.956
Pretty cool.

02:07:12.956 --> 02:07:15.636
Well, make sure to go over to our website, theothercastlepodcast.com.

02:07:15.636 --> 02:07:17.556
That's the othercastlepodcast.com.

02:07:17.556 --> 02:07:22.016
Where you can find a link to our Patreon where our patrons make this show ad free.

02:07:22.016 --> 02:07:22.916
We love you.

02:07:22.916 --> 02:08:05.136
So we want to give them a shout out, starting with Anne-Marie, Little Brimstone, Landon, Anurban, Matthew, Zan, Autumn, Alex, Sid, Jutsu, Mozart, Tamiya, Hippity Hoppity Cthulhu on your property, Ian, Danny, Zyra, Ari, Big Cat PDX, Chase, Alfredo, Micolash, Taremac, Amber, Berserk Panda, QM1993, Damien, That Chunky Boy, AJ, Porting to the Bridges, Paul, Omar, Aaron, Cerise, Molly, Krisha, Mollymauk, Jackie, Jacob, Ellen, Steamed Hams from Albany.

02:08:05.136 --> 02:08:07.796
Thank you for keeping the show running and ad-free.

02:08:07.796 --> 02:08:09.436
We appreciate you very much.

02:08:09.436 --> 02:08:12.496
You all are so wonderful and thank you so much.

02:08:12.496 --> 02:08:18.236
We are going to see you all in the Discord Goombas and until next time, this is Tom and Andrea reminding you.

02:08:18.236 --> 02:08:21.356
If Morgan Freeman tells you to do something, you better fucking listen.

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That man deserves his freckles.

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And don't skip the cutscenes.